>At 09:16 AM 6/18/96 +1000, you wrote:
, am I so busy trying to
>make a difference to the world and its attitudes that I'm losing my
>female-ness that I cherish so dearly ??? I am motivated, work-minded, always
>on the go. Does this mean I am no longer the good listener, the
>compassionate friend, the affectionate woman I used to be ??
From my experience, our lives go through stages where we focus on
different interests & abilities. While my children were young, I was
completely into "nesting"--gardening, preserving foods, sewing our clothes,
providing an interesting environment for the kids & promoting the values we
felt were important for them to learn. No TV, lots of books, art supplies &
outdoor experiences.
Now that they're grown, I'm working on my education & finding more
time for external interests. My husband & I continue to share the "nest"
tasks, which have become relatively simple, & there's time left for other
things.
The kind of changes you described certainly don't mean we've lost
our "feminine" selves--being motivated & on-the-go is part of being a woman,
too. Early socialization encourages women to be passive & provide service
to others. It takes hard work & practice for us to avoid thinking in gender
stereotypes & see all people as possessing a wide range of behavior &
abilities.
>Life is definietly a juggle between values and choices. But I am trying to
>do those things I value,
>Has anyone got any thoughts on how they juggle their pressures in this busy
>modern world where women have so many responsibilities ??
>Toni Withers
Well, I think balance is essential.
Including work, fun, introspection & action in each day. Listening to your
body's messages, &
Making time to take care of yourself. ie. (If you need rest, rest!)
Maintaining your boundaries.
Surrounding yourself with good people.
Appreciating the absurdity of it all.
Take care,
Patty Lokken
