maybe there are multiple paths to maturity.
and mutiple results.
the practice of parenting is pretty ancient. most of us wouldn't have
survived without someone there to meet our needs. a lot of people seem
to forget this when they talk about developmental progress. (and shadow
work)
parents may develop a sense of urgency enhanced by biology (and
chemistry.) experiencing a deep level of connectedness and
commitment... i thought once this was just a woman thing until i heard a
father speak of the same physical imprinting. (bonding) the pathways
that allow us to do this may work well with other species just as women
who are not biologically mothers are said to be able to lactate and
perhaps men in radical situations...
i find it hard to think of maturity without a collection of shoulds and
oughts borrowed from adults in my youth. a while ago i saw a woman who
was not very sensitive to my issues as a mother become no more sensitive
when she was a mother herself... not everyone grows up at the same
rate. maybe it's the hierarchy of needs. the basic ones need to be
met.
some antinatal women become oppressors as they climb the bureaucratic
ladder and can be as difficult for mothers to work for as misogynist
males. commitment to meeting a young child's needs is often read as
poor job performance.
i was recently windowshopping at a store that carried the products of
women's cooperatives (closed for remodeling). a sign in the window
boasted that most of the profits supported child nutrition in the third
world. i don't think many fortune five hundred companies could say that
even though their leaders may be both talented and mature.
just 2cents
marybeth
>From [EMAIL PROTECTED] Mon Sep 8 14:17:06 1997
for <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; Tue, 9 Sep 1997 06:19:45 +1000 (EST)
Date: Tue, 09 Sep 1997 06:13:34 +1000
From: Lee Jenkins <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: Hello Will
References: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
<l03010d00b0283c03c4ab@[206.99.244.223]>
<l03010d00b0298c422ce8@[206.99.244.156]>
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sorry if I offended you. I think you're reading a bit more into it than
I wrote.
Lee.
Peter Wright and Christine Laurence wrote:
> At 09:55 AM 28/08/97 +1000, you wrote:
> >Will Bason wrote:
>
> >> Lots of women who have never had children are wonderful, deep and
> mature
> beings.
> >
> Lee (?) wrote:
>
> >To be sure, but all the childless women I can think of that I know
> lack
> >the maturity and selflessness of a mother. Some have cats as
> >substitutes, but "mothering" a pet does not have the same effect. If
> a
> >mother is selfish, her child will not let her rest, she has no choice
>
> >but to fulfill their needs and to watch them tirelessly lest they
> injure
> >themselves or be abducted or abused by some (usually male) fiend. And
> if
> >her child is unhappy, she (typically) cannot let herself rest.
>
> Lee, as a childless woman, who is assisting in raising three nephews,
> I
> find it a little bit hard to take your assertion I lack maturity and
> sefllessness.
>
> By generalisaing that 'all' mothers are good and 'all' childless women
> are
> immature and selfish you deny other people's experiences and ways of
> living, and condemn them.
>
> You try to say that your experience and ways of understanding are the
> only
> *right* ways - ending up "playing at being the rulers of the universe"
>
> Christine
--
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