Gee, I never realized how oppressed I am by this matriarchal society. I
had no idea that women have two thirds of the wealth. I suppose that this
is all expert scientific analysis... Seriously, though, I find it
absolutely fascinating when a ruling class (or gender) can think that THEY
are oppressed! There is a line in Tolstoy that I am going to butcher
here, but it goes something like this- "I can ride on your back, and hit
you with a stick, the whole time assuring myself and others that I have
your best interests at heart, and that you are putting me out" Some men
are so fucked up....
______________________
Miguel Ordorica
Washington State Univ.
Dept. of Sociology
Wilson 206
(509) 335-4595 (msg.)
(509) 332-4442 (hme)
______________________
On Sun, 28 Feb 1999, joe dees wrote:
>
> >Dealing with Masculophobia
> >By Pradeep Ramanathan � 1999
> >
> >
> >
> >I believe that our challenge (and the challenge for all men of our time) is
> >to find a way to step out into the world, to confront the masculophobia,
> >and to vanquish it - while at the same time doing so from a place of
> >groundedness, love, and strength.
> >
> >That is a tremendous challenge. I would claim that the majority of men
> >fail to even understand that without confronting society in general (and
> >both men and women in particular) about masculophobia in society, men will
> >never complete the process of "reclaiming the sacred masculine for our
> >time" (as the ManKind Project states).
> >
> >I would even go so far as to say that unless and until we do confront
> >masculophobia, society will continue to degenerate, families will suffer,
> >crime will increase, prison populations will grow, and society will rot and
> >decay. The economic illness and decay that befell communist countries that
> >followed economic Marxism will find a social counterpart in the social
> >illness and decay of those countries which are currently following the
> >edicts of cultural Marxism. [For an excellent article on Political
> >Correctness, Feminism, and Cultural Marxism, see "Political Correctness
> >Poisons Free Speech", by William S. Lind, director of the Center for
> >Cultural Conservatism. I am not a conservative, but I still found this to
> >be an excellent article. It was published in the Op-Ed section of the
> >Minnesota Daily, Feb 2, 1999. It may be posted on the internet]
> >
> >Doing the inner work we need to do is one part of our work as men (and an
> >indispensable part). The other part is holding women, men, and society
> >accountable for the toxic masculophobia of the present day. I include men
> >in this indictment, because men are every bit as responsible as women for
> >creating and propagating masculophobia in today's world. The female
> >institution of subordinating the needs and nature of men to those of women,
> >while promoting special entitlements, privileges and protections for women
> >is Feminism (though feminists would deny that that is what feminism is
> >about). But men have their own institution: Chivalry is the male
> >institution that subordinates the needs and nature of men in favor of those
> >of women, while promoting special entitlements, privileges and protections
> >for women.
> >
> >So women are no more (or less) to "blame" (if blame we must) for
> >masculophobia. Yet, confronting men about this is a lot easier for us than
> >confronting women. This is where most men quail in terror. I believe that
> >the Shame of Maleness (as Roy Schenk calls it) is what causes this primal
> >fear in men - the fear of confronting a woman, or women in general, and
> >holding them accountable for their destructive behaviours.
> >
> >If the reader has not already done so, I cannot convey how valuable I think
> >it would be for him to purchase a copy of Men Healing Shame, co-edited by
> >Roy Schenk and John Everingham. This is the best source of support any man
> >can get for dealing with Male Shame. It is a phenomenal book that will
> >help men to begin healing the shame of maleness.
> >
> >And this brings me to why, in my judgment, men who protest masculophobia
> >receive so much resistance, and sometimes hostility, especially from other
> >men. We must not be discouraged by this response from men. Rather, we
> >must understand it. Drawing attention to masculophobia pokes a finger into
> >the sore wound of male shame, and provokes men's fear of confronting women.
> >It is a shame-based response, in my judgment, and it is natural for men
> >who have done some personal growth work, but who have not yet begun to
> >acknowledge or deal with their shame of maleness.
> >
> >Men who have done no inner work at all are apt to ignore the whole thing.
> >They'll just blow it off. They are the guys who aren't even aware of
> >masculophobia, and couldn't care less if it hit them in the face. I would
> >say that the vast majority of American men are at this place. Many of
> >these men are off practising their chivalry and trying to get along with
> >women on women's terms.
> >
> >But the men who do react, and react with irritation and anger, at the idea
> >of confronting women and men about masculophobia, are the ones who have
> >begun to be aware of their feelings. Yet, they have not become aware of
> >their male shame. The reason they react negatively at all is that on some
> >level they have touched the wounds of maleness. Yet, they are still in
> >the denial stage. That is the first stage, the beginning, of inner work on
> >male shame. I judge that this is where some men in America, as well as
> >most of the men who are members of the Nation of Men, the Mankind Project,
> >and other mythopoetic organizations, the PromiseKeepers, and feminist men's
> >organizations are hiding. This group accounts for large numbers of men,
> >but still a minority of men in America. So these men are aware of
> >feelings, but are in denial and have not begun the inner work dealing with
> >male shame.
> >
> >Interestingly, parallel to this first stage is a behaviour found among a
> >very small fraction of men, and perhaps typical of many men in the men's
> >and fathers' rights movement. That is, a few men don't resist the fact
> >that through masculophobia women and men are destroying family and society,
> >but rather are very angry about the masculophobia. Unfortunately they do
> >not own the anger. Instead these men project it outward and see themselves
> >as victims of masculophobia, feminism, the family court, etc. They are
> >filled with righteous anger. These men want to change the world around
> >them, but do not see that their anger is as much about their own wounds as
> >it is about the world they are trying to change. These men, like those
> >above, are in denial. Although these two groups of men seem very
> >different, in many ways they are the same. They are both in denial about
> >their wounds of maleness. The former group deals with their shame by
> >identifying with the "oppressor", as it were, the latter by villifying her.
> >Now, although the latter group accounts for few men in America at large, I
> >would say they account for the majority of the men involved in men's and
> >fathers' rights organizations. I judge that the majority of men in the
> >National Coalition of Free Men, the National Congress for Fathers and
> >Children, the Men's Defense Association, and so on, are in this place.
> >
> >As we, as men, do begin the process of recovery from male shame, the next
> >stage is one of direct awareness of the shame. It is accompanied by
> >intense emotion; pain, anger, rage, etc. Most of those men that I have met
> >in the men's movement who have managed to get past the denial stage are in
> >the pain stage. We are in touch with the wounds caused by masculophobia,
> >and we are struggling to heal them. But we are far from having found peace
> >with it. We are daily living with our awareness and pain of the shame of
> >maleness, and simultaneously struggling not to project our anger and pain
> >out onto the rest of world. I have noticed that there are more of these
> >kind of men in the ManKind Project and in the National Coalition of Free
> >Men than in any other of the mythopoetic or men's rights organizations. In
> >fact, almost all of the men that I know who are in this stage are members
> >of both NCFM and MKP.
> >
> >I believe that part of our healing process will be the inner work to heal
> >the shame. The other part will require stepping out into the world and
> >saying "No more." We must not tolerate the shaming of men and masculinity
> >anymore. We will resist, and wage a non-violent spiritual and political
> >war against masculophobia, as Mahatma Gandhi waged a non-violent spiritual
> >and political war against racial oppression. Without acknowledging the
> >important work that must be done on these two aspects in tandem, I
> >personally doubt that we will make much progress in the men's movement, or
> >in our own individual lives.
> >
> >That is not to say, however, that we must balance these two sides
> >immediately, and attain harmonious perfection before we act. Regardless of
> >the stage of healing we are at, in this our struggle, we will not be
> >perfect. We will be wounded men struggling to heal. Many men will not be
> >good at doing the inner work, they will be better at doing the outer work -
> >they will see men's inner work as irrelevant or some kind of wussy,
> >tree-hugging, activity. Conversely, many other men will not be good at
> >doing the outer work - they will misconstrue men's outer work as toxic,
> >angry, woman-bashing; this will be because of their terror in experiencing
> >women's scorn and shaming.
> >
> >But if we work, and work together, if we engage in this struggle and fight
> >the good fight, we will move through our personal feelings of sadness and
> >grief, we will begin seeing changes in society. In the end, there will be
> >peace and loving acceptance by us of society and by society of us. Both
> >will have changed, both will be healed.
> >
> >So it will be a challenge for us, and this brings me back full circle to my
> >original statement:
> >
> >I believe that our challenge (and the challenge for all men of our time) is
> >to find a way to step out into the world, confront the masculophobia, and
> >vanquish it, while at the same time doing the inner work we need to do to
> >heal our shame of maleness, so that in our war against masculophobia, we
> >will be coming from a place of groundedness, love, and strength.
> >
> >It is my hope that men will begin to see that the men's rights movement and
> >the mythopoetic movement need one another, and can learn much from one
> >another. It is my hope that the men in these two sides of the men's
> >movement will come together as brothers and help each other to heal and to
> >wage the peaceful war.
> >
> >As men, it is our responsibility, our duty, our privilege and our mandate
> >to rise up to this challenge. Only then will be averted the perilous
> >headlong flight of our culture into a nazi-like gendercide. Only then will
> >we have reclaimed the sacred masculine for our time. And only then will
> >our grandsons and granddaughters be able to inherit a legacy of true
> >equality, rich family life, and personal freedom - a life free of shame.
> >
> >From: Terence Moore
> >Subject: Truth, Justice, May Our Grandsons Thrive
> >
> >Brothers--
> >
> >I am afraid of dying before I have an opportunity to
> >give what I have. But I embrace that fear, as it
> >motivates me to act.
> >
> >I am angry. All my life, I have felt discriminated
> >against for being male; and now I see my sons being
> >discriminated against too. But I embrace that anger,
> >as it motivates me to seek constructive solutions.
> >
> >Lies are so damaging. I learned at a very young age
> >how this is so. The alcoholism in my family came
> >with unspoken rules: Don't speak it. Pretend it's
> >not there. I saw solutions within reach, but they
> >would have required truth, which was forbidden. I
> >hate lies.
> >
> >Discrimination against males is exactly the same for
> >our society as alcoholism was in my childhood home:
> >An insidious disease that we are conditioned not to
> >talk about or believe exists.
> >
> >We cannot reach solutions without speaking truth!
> >Have you heard the truth? Do you want it? Men and
> >boys are suffering needlessly. See addendum below
> >for examples of some tragic facts you may not know.
> >(Or you may have known, but not let yourself pay
> >attention to them.)
> >
> >Men carry heavier loads without complaint because
> >they are conditioned that way. Women carry lighter
> >loads and wail loudly because they are taught to do
> >so. The "grin and bear it" ethic no longer works.
> >The fantasy that it is a man's world is used as
> >JUSTIFICATION to discriminate against males
> >further. Lies are so damaging.
> >
> >I want the world to be socially and politically more
> >hospitable for my sons and grandsons than it has
> >been for me. That doesn't have to mean losing all
> >perspective and letting our personal lives fall
> >apart so we can joust with windmills. But I don't
> >want to keep the blinders on anymore, either.
> >
> >I don't want my male descendants for generations to
> >come to suffer from injustice (trend illustrated
> >below), when I could have helped to correct it. Do
> >you share that dream with me?
> >
> >How can warriors of the heart, men of intention and
> >honor, MEN LIKE YOU AND I, even with no political
> >experience, help make it come true? I don't know an
> >answer. But together, we can find one! Join me!
> >I'm hosting discussion groups at my home in Fremont,
> >Calif., on these dates:
> >
> >* Thursday, March 4, 7:30 pm
> >* Wednesday, March 10, 7:30 pm
> >
> >You are welcome to attend either date, whichever is
> >best for you. RSVP to me at
> >"[address.withheld]". Please come.
> >
> >--Terence/Green Man of the Forest
> >_______________
> >
> >HOW IS THIS EVENT DIFFERENT?
> >
> >Up until now, there have been two polarized camps:
> >The political warriors and the heartful warriors.
> >But this event is different. It's not just for one
> >camp or the other.
> >
> >This event is for those few men in either camp (or
> >both) who are interested in emotional healing and
> >growth as well as promoting justice in our society.
> >Perhaps it takes an emotionally grounded warrior to
> >fight the good fight and effect real change.
> >_______________
> >
> >WHO WILL BE THERE?
> >
> >Presenting will be Rich Zubaty, author of books on
> >men's issues, activist for father's rights, and
> >graduate of both New Warrior Training and the
> >Sterling Men's weekend. Rich's books include
> >"Surviving the Feminization of America" and
> >"Water People". He is currently co-authoring a new
> >book with Bill Kauth, co-founder of The Mankind
> >Project.
> >_______________
> >
> >DIRECTIONS
> >
> >>From 880 & Mowry Ave. in Fremont: Go East on
> >Mowry Ave. for 2 miles. Turn right on State Street,
> >immediately after a pizzeria. Go South for 1/2
> >block on State St., then make a U-turn back toward
> >Mowry. Our complex is now directly ahead of you.
> >The sign says "Pennsylvania Apartments". 3600
> >Pennsylvania Ave. Meet in the clubhouse. Entrance
> >on the South side of the clubhouse building.
> >_______________
> >
> >SOME TRUTHS ABOUT THIS "MAN'S WORLD"
> >
> >* Four out of five suicides are men.
> >* 85% of the homeless are men.
> >* Women live eight years longer than men.
> >* Nineteen out of 20 people who die on the job are
> > men.
> >* Women own 65% of America's wealth.
> >* Mothers have the legal right to choose abortion,
> > but fathers have no rights toward their own
> > unborn children.
> >* When children are put up for adoption, unmarried
> > fathers cannot adopt their own biological
> > children, even where paternity is proved.
> >* Women routinely receive 50% less jail time for
> > committing the same crime as a man.
> >* Men continue to die in military conflicts, and
> > women do not even have to register with the
> > Selective Service.
> >* At divorce, children are deprived of the
> > stability, love, and spirituality of their
> > fathers when 85% of them end up in the custody of
> > their mothers.
> >* Welfare regulations prohibit payments to families
> > with a father present in the household.
> >* Little boys in kindergarten are being
> > brainwashed. Punished for "sexual harrassment"
> > (kissing consenting little girls in
> > kindergarten).
> >* Test scores show an academic gender bias.
> > School-age boys struggle significantly with
> > reading while girls struggle slightly with math.
> > Public schools pay far more attention to girls in
> > math than boys in reading.
> >* Six times more retail space is allotted to
> > women's personal items than to men's.
> >* The same number of people die from breast cancer
> > and prostate cancer, but breast cancer research
> > receives five times more funding.
> >* Domestic violence is portrayed with men as the
> > perpetrators and women as the victims, when in
> > reality, it is committed equally by men and
> > women. This results in:
> >* Lopsided criminal "justice": A woman can shoot
> > her husband, plead in court that he abused her,
> > and receive a lighter sentence. Men cannot.
> >* Lopsided government aid: The government funds
> > battered women's shelters but not battered men's
> > shelters.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> Joe E. Dees
> Poet, Pagan, Philosopher
>
>
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