>Dealing with Masculophobia
>By Pradeep Ramanathan � 1999
>
>
>
>I believe that our challenge (and the challenge for all men of our time) is
>to find a way to step out into the world, to confront the masculophobia,
>and to vanquish it - while at the same time doing so from a place of
>groundedness, love, and strength.
>
>That is a tremendous challenge. I would claim that the majority of men
>fail to even understand that without confronting society in general (and
>both men and women in particular) about masculophobia in society, men will
>never complete the process of "reclaiming the sacred masculine for our
>time" (as the ManKind Project states).
>
>I would even go so far as to say that unless and until we do confront
>masculophobia, society will continue to degenerate, families will suffer,
>crime will increase, prison populations will grow, and society will rot and
>decay. The economic illness and decay that befell communist countries that
>followed economic Marxism will find a social counterpart in the social
>illness and decay of those countries which are currently following the
>edicts of cultural Marxism. [For an excellent article on Political
>Correctness, Feminism, and Cultural Marxism, see "Political Correctness
>Poisons Free Speech", by William S. Lind, director of the Center for
>Cultural Conservatism. I am not a conservative, but I still found this to
>be an excellent article. It was published in the Op-Ed section of the
>Minnesota Daily, Feb 2, 1999. It may be posted on the internet]
>
>Doing the inner work we need to do is one part of our work as men (and an
>indispensable part). The other part is holding women, men, and society
>accountable for the toxic masculophobia of the present day. I include men
>in this indictment, because men are every bit as responsible as women for
>creating and propagating masculophobia in today's world. The female
>institution of subordinating the needs and nature of men to those of women,
>while promoting special entitlements, privileges and protections for women
>is Feminism (though feminists would deny that that is what feminism is
>about). But men have their own institution: Chivalry is the male
>institution that subordinates the needs and nature of men in favor of those
>of women, while promoting special entitlements, privileges and protections
>for women.
>
>So women are no more (or less) to "blame" (if blame we must) for
>masculophobia. Yet, confronting men about this is a lot easier for us than
>confronting women. This is where most men quail in terror. I believe that
>the Shame of Maleness (as Roy Schenk calls it) is what causes this primal
>fear in men - the fear of confronting a woman, or women in general, and
>holding them accountable for their destructive behaviours.
>
>If the reader has not already done so, I cannot convey how valuable I think
>it would be for him to purchase a copy of Men Healing Shame, co-edited by
>Roy Schenk and John Everingham. This is the best source of support any man
>can get for dealing with Male Shame. It is a phenomenal book that will
>help men to begin healing the shame of maleness.
>
>And this brings me to why, in my judgment, men who protest masculophobia
>receive so much resistance, and sometimes hostility, especially from other
>men. We must not be discouraged by this response from men. Rather, we
>must understand it. Drawing attention to masculophobia pokes a finger into
>the sore wound of male shame, and provokes men's fear of confronting women.
>It is a shame-based response, in my judgment, and it is natural for men
>who have done some personal growth work, but who have not yet begun to
>acknowledge or deal with their shame of maleness.
>
>Men who have done no inner work at all are apt to ignore the whole thing.
>They'll just blow it off. They are the guys who aren't even aware of
>masculophobia, and couldn't care less if it hit them in the face. I would
>say that the vast majority of American men are at this place. Many of
>these men are off practising their chivalry and trying to get along with
>women on women's terms.
>
>But the men who do react, and react with irritation and anger, at the idea
>of confronting women and men about masculophobia, are the ones who have
>begun to be aware of their feelings. Yet, they have not become aware of
>their male shame. The reason they react negatively at all is that on some
>level they have touched the wounds of maleness. Yet, they are still in
>the denial stage. That is the first stage, the beginning, of inner work on
>male shame. I judge that this is where some men in America, as well as
>most of the men who are members of the Nation of Men, the Mankind Project,
>and other mythopoetic organizations, the PromiseKeepers, and feminist men's
>organizations are hiding. This group accounts for large numbers of men,
>but still a minority of men in America. So these men are aware of
>feelings, but are in denial and have not begun the inner work dealing with
>male shame.
>
>Interestingly, parallel to this first stage is a behaviour found among a
>very small fraction of men, and perhaps typical of many men in the men's
>and fathers' rights movement. That is, a few men don't resist the fact
>that through masculophobia women and men are destroying family and society,
>but rather are very angry about the masculophobia. Unfortunately they do
>not own the anger. Instead these men project it outward and see themselves
>as victims of masculophobia, feminism, the family court, etc. They are
>filled with righteous anger. These men want to change the world around
>them, but do not see that their anger is as much about their own wounds as
>it is about the world they are trying to change. These men, like those
>above, are in denial. Although these two groups of men seem very
>different, in many ways they are the same. They are both in denial about
>their wounds of maleness. The former group deals with their shame by
>identifying with the "oppressor", as it were, the latter by villifying her.
>Now, although the latter group accounts for few men in America at large, I
>would say they account for the majority of the men involved in men's and
>fathers' rights organizations. I judge that the majority of men in the
>National Coalition of Free Men, the National Congress for Fathers and
>Children, the Men's Defense Association, and so on, are in this place.
>
>As we, as men, do begin the process of recovery from male shame, the next
>stage is one of direct awareness of the shame. It is accompanied by
>intense emotion; pain, anger, rage, etc. Most of those men that I have met
>in the men's movement who have managed to get past the denial stage are in
>the pain stage. We are in touch with the wounds caused by masculophobia,
>and we are struggling to heal them. But we are far from having found peace
>with it. We are daily living with our awareness and pain of the shame of
>maleness, and simultaneously struggling not to project our anger and pain
>out onto the rest of world. I have noticed that there are more of these
>kind of men in the ManKind Project and in the National Coalition of Free
>Men than in any other of the mythopoetic or men's rights organizations. In
>fact, almost all of the men that I know who are in this stage are members
>of both NCFM and MKP.
>
>I believe that part of our healing process will be the inner work to heal
>the shame. The other part will require stepping out into the world and
>saying "No more." We must not tolerate the shaming of men and masculinity
>anymore. We will resist, and wage a non-violent spiritual and political
>war against masculophobia, as Mahatma Gandhi waged a non-violent spiritual
>and political war against racial oppression. Without acknowledging the
>important work that must be done on these two aspects in tandem, I
>personally doubt that we will make much progress in the men's movement, or
>in our own individual lives.
>
>That is not to say, however, that we must balance these two sides
>immediately, and attain harmonious perfection before we act. Regardless of
>the stage of healing we are at, in this our struggle, we will not be
>perfect. We will be wounded men struggling to heal. Many men will not be
>good at doing the inner work, they will be better at doing the outer work -
>they will see men's inner work as irrelevant or some kind of wussy,
>tree-hugging, activity. Conversely, many other men will not be good at
>doing the outer work - they will misconstrue men's outer work as toxic,
>angry, woman-bashing; this will be because of their terror in experiencing
>women's scorn and shaming.
>
>But if we work, and work together, if we engage in this struggle and fight
>the good fight, we will move through our personal feelings of sadness and
>grief, we will begin seeing changes in society. In the end, there will be
>peace and loving acceptance by us of society and by society of us. Both
>will have changed, both will be healed.
>
>So it will be a challenge for us, and this brings me back full circle to my
>original statement:
>
>I believe that our challenge (and the challenge for all men of our time) is
>to find a way to step out into the world, confront the masculophobia, and
>vanquish it, while at the same time doing the inner work we need to do to
>heal our shame of maleness, so that in our war against masculophobia, we
>will be coming from a place of groundedness, love, and strength.
>
>It is my hope that men will begin to see that the men's rights movement and
>the mythopoetic movement need one another, and can learn much from one
>another. It is my hope that the men in these two sides of the men's
>movement will come together as brothers and help each other to heal and to
>wage the peaceful war.
>
>As men, it is our responsibility, our duty, our privilege and our mandate
>to rise up to this challenge. Only then will be averted the perilous
>headlong flight of our culture into a nazi-like gendercide. Only then will
>we have reclaimed the sacred masculine for our time. And only then will
>our grandsons and granddaughters be able to inherit a legacy of true
>equality, rich family life, and personal freedom - a life free of shame.
>
>From: Terence Moore
>Subject: Truth, Justice, May Our Grandsons Thrive
>
>Brothers--
>
>I am afraid of dying before I have an opportunity to
>give what I have. But I embrace that fear, as it
>motivates me to act.
>
>I am angry. All my life, I have felt discriminated
>against for being male; and now I see my sons being
>discriminated against too. But I embrace that anger,
>as it motivates me to seek constructive solutions.
>
>Lies are so damaging. I learned at a very young age
>how this is so. The alcoholism in my family came
>with unspoken rules: Don't speak it. Pretend it's
>not there. I saw solutions within reach, but they
>would have required truth, which was forbidden. I
>hate lies.
>
>Discrimination against males is exactly the same for
>our society as alcoholism was in my childhood home:
>An insidious disease that we are conditioned not to
>talk about or believe exists.
>
>We cannot reach solutions without speaking truth!
>Have you heard the truth? Do you want it? Men and
>boys are suffering needlessly. See addendum below
>for examples of some tragic facts you may not know.
>(Or you may have known, but not let yourself pay
>attention to them.)
>
>Men carry heavier loads without complaint because
>they are conditioned that way. Women carry lighter
>loads and wail loudly because they are taught to do
>so. The "grin and bear it" ethic no longer works.
>The fantasy that it is a man's world is used as
>JUSTIFICATION to discriminate against males
>further. Lies are so damaging.
>
>I want the world to be socially and politically more
>hospitable for my sons and grandsons than it has
>been for me. That doesn't have to mean losing all
>perspective and letting our personal lives fall
>apart so we can joust with windmills. But I don't
>want to keep the blinders on anymore, either.
>
>I don't want my male descendants for generations to
>come to suffer from injustice (trend illustrated
>below), when I could have helped to correct it. Do
>you share that dream with me?
>
>How can warriors of the heart, men of intention and
>honor, MEN LIKE YOU AND I, even with no political
>experience, help make it come true? I don't know an
>answer. But together, we can find one! Join me!
>I'm hosting discussion groups at my home in Fremont,
>Calif., on these dates:
>
>* Thursday, March 4, 7:30 pm
>* Wednesday, March 10, 7:30 pm
>
>You are welcome to attend either date, whichever is
>best for you. RSVP to me at
>"[address.withheld]". Please come.
>
>--Terence/Green Man of the Forest
>_______________
>
>HOW IS THIS EVENT DIFFERENT?
>
>Up until now, there have been two polarized camps:
>The political warriors and the heartful warriors.
>But this event is different. It's not just for one
>camp or the other.
>
>This event is for those few men in either camp (or
>both) who are interested in emotional healing and
>growth as well as promoting justice in our society.
>Perhaps it takes an emotionally grounded warrior to
>fight the good fight and effect real change.
>_______________
>
>WHO WILL BE THERE?
>
>Presenting will be Rich Zubaty, author of books on
>men's issues, activist for father's rights, and
>graduate of both New Warrior Training and the
>Sterling Men's weekend. Rich's books include
>"Surviving the Feminization of America" and
>"Water People". He is currently co-authoring a new
>book with Bill Kauth, co-founder of The Mankind
>Project.
>_______________
>
>DIRECTIONS
>
>>From 880 & Mowry Ave. in Fremont: Go East on
>Mowry Ave. for 2 miles. Turn right on State Street,
>immediately after a pizzeria. Go South for 1/2
>block on State St., then make a U-turn back toward
>Mowry. Our complex is now directly ahead of you.
>The sign says "Pennsylvania Apartments". 3600
>Pennsylvania Ave. Meet in the clubhouse. Entrance
>on the South side of the clubhouse building.
>_______________
>
>SOME TRUTHS ABOUT THIS "MAN'S WORLD"
>
>* Four out of five suicides are men.
>* 85% of the homeless are men.
>* Women live eight years longer than men.
>* Nineteen out of 20 people who die on the job are
> men.
>* Women own 65% of America's wealth.
>* Mothers have the legal right to choose abortion,
> but fathers have no rights toward their own
> unborn children.
>* When children are put up for adoption, unmarried
> fathers cannot adopt their own biological
> children, even where paternity is proved.
>* Women routinely receive 50% less jail time for
> committing the same crime as a man.
>* Men continue to die in military conflicts, and
> women do not even have to register with the
> Selective Service.
>* At divorce, children are deprived of the
> stability, love, and spirituality of their
> fathers when 85% of them end up in the custody of
> their mothers.
>* Welfare regulations prohibit payments to families
> with a father present in the household.
>* Little boys in kindergarten are being
> brainwashed. Punished for "sexual harrassment"
> (kissing consenting little girls in
> kindergarten).
>* Test scores show an academic gender bias.
> School-age boys struggle significantly with
> reading while girls struggle slightly with math.
> Public schools pay far more attention to girls in
> math than boys in reading.
>* Six times more retail space is allotted to
> women's personal items than to men's.
>* The same number of people die from breast cancer
> and prostate cancer, but breast cancer research
> receives five times more funding.
>* Domestic violence is portrayed with men as the
> perpetrators and women as the victims, when in
> reality, it is committed equally by men and
> women. This results in:
>* Lopsided criminal "justice": A woman can shoot
> her husband, plead in court that he abused her,
> and receive a lighter sentence. Men cannot.
>* Lopsided government aid: The government funds
> battered women's shelters but not battered men's
> shelters.
>
>
>
>
>
Joe E. Dees
Poet, Pagan, Philosopher
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