Hello again,
I agree with most of what you said about choice and the Pope, Jayne.
You do have a point there. And in this context I would like to suggest a
book by a catholic priest who is to some extent considered a new Luther
because of his very critical views about the Catholic Church, women and
sexuality. His name is Eugen Drewermann and the title of one of his books
is (in german) "Kleriker" which is translated into Portuguese as
"funcionarios de Deus" ("Gods clerks").I only read parts of it, but I think
I got the message. He simply *must* be well known in the U.S also, though I
cannot tell to what extent, because I live in Europe.
But lets continue to discuss the problem of choice. Most people
(and perhaps to some extent you too, Jayne?) think having kids or not
should always be a choice. In my case, it was a choice in what concerns my
too elder sons. The third one was not quite a choice... rather a pleasant
surprise. But also to some extent a choice, that is: we chose that the
third kid would be *an unplanned surprise*. What I mean by this is the
following: if I had taken the pill, that is, if I had been totally rational
and consequent in my life, I wouldnt certainly have had my third kid. Our
so-called "reason" would have made me *believe* (look how rational we are!)
that my career would suffer a lot, that I wouldnt be able to *compete* with
the other people out there who are working hard to get their degrees, earn
more money and the usual talk. Well Im doing both: taking care of my kids
and of my career. Slowly, of course, because Im not a very organized person
(on the contrary - if I had been a bit more organized, I would have been
careful enough not only to take the pill, but also to take it *everyday*...
:-) :-)
(By the way, I=B4ve read an article some months ago about the unecological
side-effects of taking the pill, when it reaches sewage water. But I don=B4t
know to what extent that might be true. Has anybody got any further
information on this?)
As for the consequences of my "unchosen choice": in fact I now
think my career benefited quite a lot from the fact that I have kids (hope
Ill still think this way when (if?) I finish my PhD!). Im not reading so
much as I used to, but im thinking a lot, which then again makes me read
somewhat faster. I also learn a lot from my children, which is especially
interesting in my research field,language use.
Of course I also profited *a lot* from the fact that my husband has
become a feminist, not in his speech, but in his actions, which is much
more important. Nevertheless, we still had to engage someone to help us at
home. Next year, when the baby starts his pre-school education, this person
(a single mother) has already agreed to help me with some organizational
aspects of my work, thus developing her writing and reading skills in order
to help her daughter with her homework and, who knows, be able to apply for
a better job in the future.
So the only thing I find really hard isnt really having to compete
with other people at work, but rather having to compete in society with the
increasing number of those that dont have kids, work too much, have lots of
money to spend and developed this dangerous
*who-cares-Ill-not-be-here-anyway-when-the-whole-thing-blows up* mentality.
Now that *is* hard, I tell you!
Adelaide
