Thank you, infin888, for sharing your experience, and you bob and Jake for
sharing your thoughts. That kind of sharing is the reason I joined this
list.
I think that the idea of self defense is a very good one. For some reason
I have not gotten myself into a class - perhaps not wanting to acknowledge
the actual need, perhaps just laziness. I guess I would like to see more
women and other "downs" (using Karen Warren's concept of "ups" and
"downs") put attackers in their places (ie violently) but then our justice
system (here in the US) would of course retaliate violently. People who
defend themselves against patriarchy are inevitably turned into monsters
by the media. [Sidenote: I'm currently reading a brief book by Noam
Chomsky called What Uncle Sam Really Wants. Wow. Example after example
of US patriarchy putting down those who defy it.]
I have to say that I don't think that protests are enough. They are
nothing more than statements sanctioned by the "ups." Yes, they may raise
consciousness, and that is important, but in and of themselves I oubt very
much that protest events like Take Back the Night (actually a national
phenomenon now, many cities have them) will effect change anything at all.
As for Bob's comments/questions, I know I was very uncomfortable with his
perspective, but I'm having trouble putting words to it. Not so much an
ignorance of feminism as an ignorance of patriarchy, perhaps. The thing
that comes to mind, and I don't know you, Bob, well enough to know if it
applies, is my experience with men in college. They were all
oh-so-enlightened, so very pro-feminist, and I knew it because they all
spent a lot of time proclaiming it. I met so few who were willing to
listen to the experiences of women without interjecting themselves. As
protectors, as "the exception," as something. They seemed to really feel
the need to prove their pro-feminism on a constant basis. I guess what I
have to say to you in trying to meet women, become close to women, perhaps
find a special woman to share your life with, is "Listen." I think that
you have contributed a number of wonderful things to this list and I hopw
that what I have said feels more like constructive conversation than just
criticism. That is how it is intended.
I'm off to make some phone calls about self defense classes. And yes,
when I can afford to, I have planned for quite some time to buy myself a
gun and make damn sure I know how to use it. Probably I won't take it
with me for walks in the park but you can be sure I'll take it to the
wilderness and won't have second thoughts about using it, either as a
deterrent or to actually stop an attacker.
thanks for the very stimulating ideas, one and all
Heather
===
The truth knocks on the door and you say,
"Go away, I'm looking for the truth,"
and so it goes away. Puzzling.
-Robert Pirsig
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