It isn't required that we make friends with those around us.
Living in the city one becomes accustom to ignoring most of the
people. We drive or walk by others without giving the other person
much thought. If we met the same person on a remote mountain trail
then things would be different. I remember once visiting a remote
ranch in Arizona as a child. Everyone we met expected us to stop
and talk. This was a puzzle to me at the time. People we passed
often would stop what they were doing and walk towards us, assuming
we would do the same.
I now have experienced this from the perspective of someone living
at a remote site and understand it better. The contact with
another human is an interesting event. Those who live in remote
areas soon develop customs and assume others have the same custom.
In some areas the residents still wave at everyone they drive past.
This is true of many of the old timers around here.
This same behavior seems to occur in other animals. They also have
the opposite behavior called "the comfort zone". This occurs when
someone gets too close. We all have this zone and it is
interesting to test the point where another person will back up as
we move nearer.
Another interesting fact is that the comfort zone shrinks with
trust, and that is what i'm sneaking up on. We just added six
Shetland sheep to our world and now Julie is trying to make
friends. One way to do this is to simply grab them and force our
presence inside their comfort zone. This domination approach works
sometimes but isn't always possible or safe. If we were breaking a
horse this classical method can be rough on everyone.
There is another way and it seems to work on all animals (even
humans). The first step is to be aware of the comfort zone and stay
outside it. As the animal gets use to you it will relax its zone.
As one herds sheep the length of this zone becomes easy to monitor
and change. Steady eye contact can lengthen the zone and ignoring
the sheep can shorten it to a few feet.
So, to make friends assume a non threatening posture and remain
nearby outside the comfort zone. Move around to build trust and
wait for curiosity to bring the animal closer or a sign the comfort
zone has shrunk.
I view this as a tool for interfacing with the natural world and
building community. It may also fit internet communications, where
trust is the major ingredient in forming a comfort zone. Is it
also possible we have a comfort zone related to ideas? If so we
need to keep eco ideas visable, outside a persons comfort zone,
and give people time to make friends with different ideas.
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Jeff Owens ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) Zone 7, http://www.teleport.com/~kowens
Underground house, solar energy, reduced consumption, no TV
