Hi Soniya!! Great Joke!! Here's what I have to say:- An American tourist in Punjab walked into a beautiful deserted forest and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed and just as she was about to dive in, Santa Singh the gardner appeared from behind the bushes where he was hiding all along and said, 'Madam! Swimming not allowed!''
You could have told me that before I took off my clothes!', the American woman scolded him. Santa Singh replied, 'Madam, only swimming not allowed, taking off clothes allowed!* * * * A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules here in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must an swer two questions: 1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many seconds are there in a year? The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, Ill buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though its not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word. * * * A Sardar went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Sardars. The game warden ordered the Sardar to show his hunting license, and the Sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario.This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license,boy?" The Sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license. The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?" The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?" Again the Sardar reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Sardar "Just where the hell are you from?" The Sardar smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell me, you're the expert. On Sep 24, 9:18 am, Soniya111 <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Dear members of the group. > > Enjoy this joke. Have a nice day. > > Regards Soniya > > George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next > when his telephone rang. > > 'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh > from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform > you that we are officially declaring the war on you!' > > 'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big > is your army' > > 'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is > myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the > entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight' > > Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in > my army waiting to move on my command.' > > 'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!' > > Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again. > > 'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is > still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!' > > 'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh' Bush asked. > > 'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.' > > Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and > 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to > 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.' > > 'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.' > > Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day. > > 'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves > airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of > shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school > pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!' > > Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell > you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My > military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile > sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO > MILLION!' > > 'Tera pala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.' > > Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day. > > 'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off > the war.' > > 'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart' > > 'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of > lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners > of wars!' > > NOW THAT'S CALLED PUNJABI CONFIDENCE !!! --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "English Learner's Cafe" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/english_learners?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
