On Mon, Jun 22, 2015 at 2:15 AM, Tom Hacohen <t...@osg.samsung.com> wrote:
> I don't think fake fluff and walking on eggshells around everyone are > productive or beneficial. It takes me much more time to second guess > every word I write and carefully word everything, where the information > conveyed and the intent end up being exactly the same. I honestly think, > that like you said, the problem is with the people getting insulted. > When I talk to people, unless I know them very well, I try to give them > the benefit of the doubt. This works great for me, I have no memory of > ever being railed up by anyone who hasn't explicitly and undoubtedly > tried to offend me and go personal. The so-called "fluff" is only "fake" if one fails to actually care about people's feelings. Blaming the victim, and putting the onus on the abused to respond differently rather than addressing one's own abusive behavior, is itself further abuse. If a person is hurting people's feelings with their words and causing others to feel badly about themselves, THAT PERSON is the problem, and the solution is that person changing THEMSELVES, not everyone else making excuses for them and saying, "Well that's just so-and-so. He's an ass." Expecting everyone else to change to accommodate one's own personal failings is selfish, narcissistic, and just plain wrong. So what if it takes you more time to choose your words carefully? That's time well spent if it saves others from having to endure the sting of cyberbullying. I can say these things because I used to be the resident asshole of this community. I used to be the one who was insulting, abusive, and downright mean. I set a really shitty example, and I'm not proud of who I used to be. But I've grown up now. And I encourage anyone else who might be treating others badly to do the same. If I can do it, anyone can. I think E very much needs a Code of Conduct, and its contents should be considered carefully if its purpose is to make sure people are treated fairly, particularly women and other under-represented minorities, within the community. The Enlightenment project, despite its name, has not been very enlightened over the years in the way it has dealt with people who aren't straight white men, and that has undoubtedly cost us contributors. (Yes, I know I bear a rather large amount of responsibility for that. And that makes me very sad.) Much of the reason has to do with our long-held tradition of harsh criticism and verbal abuse in the face of perceived "stupidity" (which was in most cases, and continues to be, more about ignorance, apathy, and/or error). Even being blunt and harsh with people who claim they can handle it, or might even prefer it, may still scare off potential timid contributors. Everyone making the effort to treat each other better will pay off handsomely in the long run! In the interest of improvement, I offer this: http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Code_of_conduct_evaluations I think it offers some valuable insights into what might be missing from the current version as well as some alternatives from other projects that have proven successful and effective. It might also be educational for the men in the community to read this list of reasons why women don't tend to contribute to Wikipedia -- many of their reasons resonate in the open source world as well! http://suegardner.org/2011/02/19/nine-reasons-why-women-dont-edit-wikipedia-in-their-own-words/ Michael -- Michael Jennings (a.k.a. KainX) http://www.kainx.org/ <m...@eterm.org> Linux Server/Cluster Admin, LBL.gov Author, Eterm (www.eterm.org) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Monitor 25 network devices or servers for free with OpManager! OpManager is web-based network management software that monitors network devices and physical & virtual servers, alerts via email & sms for fault. Monitor 25 devices for free with no restriction. Download now http://ad.doubleclick.net/ddm/clk/292181274;119417398;o _______________________________________________ enlightenment-devel mailing list enlightenment-devel@lists.sourceforge.net https://lists.sourceforge.net/lists/listinfo/enlightenment-devel
