Hi,

Thank Rafael Shiro very much for your ideas, your contribution as well as your 
stimulation. I'm very glad to know that actually ^_^

I don't know exactly what other people from diverse culture think about this 
situation. In my own point of view, getting married is one of 3 biggest events 
of any men in their life. These 3 crucial events are : number 1: to get 
married, number two : to build (or to buy) a house; and the last : buying a 
buffalo. In the morden world nowadays, the first two responsibilities remain 
the same, yet the last one has been changed a little. It is no longer a buffalo 
but a car instead (as expensive as possible ^_^). And these events shuld be 
done at the right time. I think the right age for men to get married ranges 
from 26 to 30 while that for women should be from 23 to 27. As girls are often 
more passitive in love than men and they have a bigger responsility for 
building up their family, I suppose that they should get married earlier than 
men. I don't mean that men has less responsibility in their family but women 
often have to spend a lot more time for their family in tasks like doing 
housework, taking care of their children... 

In our culture, the main role of women is to build and maintain a warm family, 
the role of men is almost making money to support all the family. That is also 
one of the reasons why, according to Rafael Oshiro, men are often afraid of 
women who are financially independent. I partly agree with Rafael about this, 
however not all men are like this. Some have a very open-minded; they don't 
limit the development of their wife because of being afraid of losing the 
leading role in their family. Nevertheless wise wives know how to satisfy their 
husband by not lowering their husband's role in the family but heightening it 
instead. My cousin, a very successful businessman, told me that his wife seems 
to be more agile than him in most stages but he never feel sad about that 
because he are always proud of his logic ability. Whenever his wife need to 
make any decisions, she always ask him for advices, and in most case, she finds 
a better solution after asking his advices ^_^ This is a very common situation 
in our society and I think it is acceptable and reasonable. ^^

In the world these days, men and women are equal in terms of law, yet in 
traditional culture terms, men should hold the leading role in their family. 
They should be strong and sophisticated enough to drive their family over vast 
difficulties and making important decision when necessary. Wife and husband 
hold different significant role in a family. They should try to play their role 
perfectly rather than taking the role of the another. 

That is just my point of view. What about you? what do you think about the role 
of wife and husband in a family? Curiously to know your opinion ^_^

Best regards,
NgoNam
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Rafael Oshiro 
  To: [email protected] 
  Sent: Monday, May 18, 2009 8:24 PM
  Subject: [ESL Podcast] Re: At what age should women in this morden society 
nowadays get married?


  Hi all!

  It's common to hear that men are afraid of women financially independent, 
because women would be more powerful. The culture we grow up with says that man 
has to be the leader and support the family, mainly financially. Do you agree 
with that?

  I don't agree completely, but I believe the world changed and it's been more 
often to see women earning more than men, since women are reaching higher 
positions in great companies, in politics and so forth.

  Pln, you have a point when you say that we take about five years to be 
stabilized professionally and in my point of view, when a woman or a man gets 
married, they change their goals. They let their desire to invest in their 
carriers in order to focus more on the family, the children, the house. That's 
the reason I believe the best age to get married is when the couple are 
stabilized, or about that (It's hard to know when one is stabilized, ritgh? 
LOL).

  Great topic NgoNam!

  Oshiro



  On Fri, May 15, 2009 at 7:20 AM, pln471 <[email protected]> wrote:


    Hi Mam Thuy Josney and all others,

    Thuy,could you tell us why women in Vietnam should avoid getting
    married specifically at the age of 23,26 or 29?

    It reminds me of what Chinese believe that it's bad luck to get
    married or even celebrate their birthdays when they reach the 9th of
    their ages.(e.g.29,39,69,etc)

    Josney has a point there that if you have a plan to get married and
    have children,then the earlier,the better!
    But,I don't agree with him that you should get married in order to
    share the morgages,debts or loans if you don't intend to have
    children.

    To stay single and be financially independent is a wiser thing to
    do...especially for a woman.
    Unless whom you're about to marry is a great-catch,then that's totally
    another story.Am I right,Josney?LOL

    It takes about 3 to 5 years to climb up the ladder of the
    hierachy.Let's say after graduation from the university,you're about
    22,then it takes 5 years to stablize your position at the company you
    work for.
    Is that how Thuy thinks that women should get married at the age of
    27?

    I would rather say that they should get married 3 years after
    graduation which means when they are 25,then have children when they
    are 28 or before they turn 30.

    When does a woman's biological clock click?!;)If you know the
    answer,then that's when she realizes it's urgent for her to find a man
    to have a child/children with and spend the rest of her life with...

    Nam,your topic reminds me of the American sit-coms"FRIENDS"!;) And if
    you want to know if Prince Charming and his Princess will live happily
    after,you should watch another older series"THIRTY-SOMETHING"!;)

    And before I forget,Pablo,I've been too busy lately to reply to your
    thread...:(
    I'm afraid I'll have to do it hopefully next Monday.
    I'll just say first now that you have a darlingly mischievious
    daughter...playing a prank joke on you like that!LOL
    I can't imagine when soon she'll be a teenager,how you're going to
    cope with her cleverness,moodiness and stubborness?!;)

    Great weekend to all of us wherever we are!
    Pln

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