If Operating Systems were Airlines
DOS AIR All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it
until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground
again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etcetera.
WINDOWS '95 AIRLINES The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very
attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is
immense. After your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin to wonder why it has not
arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the
clouds, and at 20,000 feet it crashes without warning.
MAC AIRWAYS The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the
same and act the same. When asked questions about the
flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you
please return to your seat and watch the movie.
OS/2 SKYWAYS The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers
milling about. Airline personnel walk around, apologising
profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek,
powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each
passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it
will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a
little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems.
FLY WINDOWS NT All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the
chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap
their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
WINGS of OS/400 The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest
planes that ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make
them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every
need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230
per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and
membership in the frequent flyer club.
MVS AIRLINES The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians
check the flight systems on this immense, luxury
aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the
passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement
of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the
engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through the
hangar doors!
UNIX EXPRESS Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the
airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly
about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually,
they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same
name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they
got there.
