> for Divine help RJ. Your intent is pure. Pray up a
> storm. God loves hopelessness. Not a shred of
> arrogance left. Flayed to the BONE!
> -Peter
>


---I've been there Man, I've been there, nay I live there. I pray all day. 
I've been cast into hopelessness at times so deep it wasn't going back up 
that got me out but going down through the bottom. You're talking to a 
previous crack addict, even after I graduated MIU. Talk about moral 
trepidation. You have no clue.

You are the Divine. I am the Divine. I am the Divine on dope. I need a bit 
more help than all that. My lungs can't put up with these Kool Milds 
forever. I have been trying and been trying and been trying to give up drugs 
for so long. I can remember waaaayayyy back to China being addicted to 
opium.  It's some freaking heavy karma. So all I ask is that people send out 
a prayer or wish, as the case may be. Thanks. Like I said, an experiment.

On the cool side. When I took Kalachakra with HHDL in Toronto last year 
there was a place to write questions which HHDL would read and think about, 
and I asked him all those sordid things that we keep to ourselves, most of 
us. He may have read my questions and it's possible the Dalai lama himself 
has a morose picture in his head of me smoking dope.  You know, I try to 
come across as an expert, and don't so often ask for help so I'm letting my 
guard down here and being honest with my problems.

I need help.   But I don't really want advice. I just thought some love 
would be good. I got the best piece of pranayama advice once from another 
cook who said that when he gets gripped up he pretends to take a long slow 
toke and hold it in and then lets it out slowly and it calms him down. 



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