--- In [email protected], m2smart4u2000 <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > There seems to be two things needed, a "power of attorney" and > an "Advance Directive". The Power of Attorney gives rights to make > decisions on your behalf regarding your estate. This is notarized > and has a space for signature that says "acceptance by agent" > and "acceptance by alternative agent" The Advanced directive names a > health care representative and an alternate health care > representative and states your wishes should you become seriously > ill. It can be as specific as your like.
Just some further things to consider for the Advance Directive (aka Medical Power of Attorney in California I think). I spent three years caring for my mother in advanced stages of Alzheimers. (Its ironic or nicely symetrical -- she passed away one year ago today -- so i hve been thinking of her -- all blessings to her wherever she may be.) She created an Advanced Directive Medical PoA) in 1990 or so and placed my brother as number one and myself as number two. That all made sense, he is the eldest, she and he ran the same business and saw each other daily, he lived withing 30 minutes from her, and I was 500 miles away. And the general Power of Attorney worked in a similar fashion. My brother wasnamed #1 due to his proximaty and I was named number two. My mother said if I had been closee by than my brother, she would have named me #1. Later, in 1997 this was revised when a caregiver moved in to a fairly self-contained suite upstairs in my mother's house to sort of help her out with things -- at that point it was just checking in with her a bit, helping with shopping, but we expected a gradual decline, thus all supported the live-in caregiver idea. So the Advance Directive was changed to have the caregiver #2 and me #3 since the caregiver was "right there". The order is important as I came to learn. The Advance Directive, at least in California, does not designate those appointed as co-equal managers. It gives 100% power to the first, and if they are unable to perform the responsibilities, 100% of authority falls to #2, etc. By 2001 my mother had declined quite a bit, so I decided to sell my house and move the 500 miles so I could be there for her and be part of the caregiver team (there was the live-in and another part time "commuter" caregive". And my brother had move 700 miles away. Though we talked about changing the Directive, my mother could no longer sign a document, or even if she could make some scrawl, she would not really knowwhat she was signing. So the Advanced Directive was fixed. A year later the live-in caregive moved out, 300 miles away. So the 24 hours care / watching over was then done by myself, living at the house, and two part time commuting in caregivers. However, my bother, 700 miles way, and the original live-in caregiver, not family, and 300 miles way still had legal medical authority for my mom over me. And my brother had 100% control of my mom's finaces, and since payment for medical expenses and for the part-time caregivers was in his hands, he wielded substantial power over how things were done. One would think that this would not be a problem among mature, educated adults. All i can say is that under the stress, and perhaps growing sense of grieving and loss, people don't always act rationally. People clung to their legal power. I think they did so becasue it made them feel involved and still an active part of my mom's life. However, they were not involved in the day to day care for my mom, and over time, gained more and more unproductive and flawed views of the situation and what was best for my mom. And they even basically knew and admitted this, but still, had to cling on to micro management. It was odd beyond belief and placed my mom in jepordy at times -- thankfully nothing serious happened. And I know my mom would have not been pleased with the actions of the other two PoAs. She would have said aomethng about common sense, and "look who is living at my house caring for me, who do you think I would have wanted to have primary decision ability!!??" I point this out because PoAs are set up and then things change. After some point, the dcouments can't be changed due to incapacitation. As Smart pointed out, the documents can be as specific as you care to make them. I suggest that you think things through and add comments of commen sense regarding order of PoAs over time, and possible new PoAs to be appointed if the currenly listed ones don't meed certain conditions -- such as proximatey etc. My mom's care would have been quite better if she had added the commonn sense supplement, "and of course the order of PoAs should change if circumstances change. The person who is physically closest, and/or most involved in my care and life at any particular time should be the functional lead PoA." To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
