I am a Sidha and MIU grad. So three years in the domes and another year as a 
TMer in the other meditation areas. My experience of bliss is that it is 
shallow, though depending upon how it juxtaposes with everything else. I 
have experienced huge amounts of bliss. And yet, without the ability to be 
in tune with the environment or share it with others I have always found the 
bliss a spacey burden.

So then many many years later, I have decided that I am tired of the 
disconnect between environment and inner bliss. I feel quite fine but I have 
to anchor my mind to the relative in order to get into the style of the 
relative so as to make it good. IE., I have to get into the food being 
prepped, in the pot, on the plate. I cannot just throw it where it should be 
it must have attention to all details and be placed with concern.

I found it very difficult to live in a dualistic manner and think that only 
part of life is important - the meditating - when all others are depending 
upon me for my product.  And then I am having some experiences of some 
things.  And I am not digging Maharishi any longer. I am feeling the end of 
the TM path nearing. I decide that I will surely reincarnate again. This 
person has not finished. I decide to look for a new religion that will be 
around in my next life. Something yogic.

I am thinking that it would be of great value to know how the absolute and 
relative interface and what are those colors and lights? So I get into the 
tantras, first Hindu and then Buddhist. It was a surprise to find 
descriptions of all my experiences in Buddhist tantras rather than Hindu. 
And I go to Kalachakra, Guhyagarbha, and many secret teachings.

And about five years ago I meet a guru, who has since passed away, and just 
knoing him is like a ray of optimism. The first I have ever felt. It's a 
whole different feeling from bliss of TM which is overwhelming dissolution 
of boundaries. This new joy feels like life itself. And since then aI have 
been doing that guru's sadhanas and the feeling of joy has grown. It is like 
the feeling of the absolute joy through the relative joy. Like purity of 
crystal amidst other colored gems. It is like the knowing that life itself 
is perfect and excellent.

That was something I never got through TM.  I felt through TM fluffy and 
free and disassociated. But now I feel quite acute in perception of the joy 
of all things. None of them stray from the self same primordial optimism of 
the absolute. In point of fact the relative is the absolute and the absolute 
is the relative. Neither one strays from the others for a moment.

Thus since then I have had problems keeping myself from doing all the bad 
things I love to do. Knowing how perfect all things are. This tantra is a 
secret teaching for persons who do not care to discriminate between true and 
false and good and bad.

People are always saying then that Hitler must be good by my definition. Not 
so. By my definition all things are good, not necessarily their actions 
though. For instance, pool table is good. Playing is good. Playing to win 
and losing is bad. But if one is just playing to play then all is good.

I prefer the joy of all things to the bliss of nothing. But both together 
are a powerful tonic to the sickness of others. The nature of life itself is 
all giving - it is like the wish fulfilling jewel. There is no desire and no 
means of fulfillment outside of this Earth Mother. So Yo Bhu!

Peace. 

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