--- In [email protected], "Llundrub" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
wrote:
> 
> > ----What place?
> 
> suicide, failure, not worth a shit. Don't get me wrong. I stll love 
> ya like a brother, but why else would you come down like this 
unless 
> something was hitting too close to home.
> 
> ------That's right. So fuck off. Go worship your suicidal loser. 
> See where it gets you.

Some people, Llun obviously among them, have strong 
feelings about suicide.  I don't get into coming up 
with convenient explanations for why this particular
guy did it, other than to point out something that
even the True Believers in that organization tend to
overlook.  There seems to be little question that he
got himself hooked on Valium.  It was originally 
prescribed after some kind of injury, but he got 
royally hooked on them.  Then, being the kind of 
"I can handle it" guy he was, he decided to quit, 
cold turkey.  Several days later he was dead.

Well, duh.  If you go to the Web pages on Valium, you
find in BIG LETTERS stuff for doctors about never
advising anyone to just stop, without carefully wean-
ing themselves from the effects of the drug.  One of 
the prime reasons given is the certainty of uncontrol-
lable depression, and the likelihood of suicide.

Some Rama True Believers think he was sick, and had
some incurable illness, and just didn't want to waste
away in some hospital bed somewhere.  I don't believe
that; there was no evidence of such disease.  On the 
other hand, many of the physical symptoms he complained 
about in his last days were quite real.  They are again 
listed on the same Web pages dealing with Valium addic-
tion, as side effects of dependence on the drug.  It 
would've been just like him to assume he was dying 
instead of taking responsibility for poisoning himself 
with Valium.

Bottom line is that Llun is right -- it's a sad end to
an otherwise interesting life.  He was the most gifted
speaker on spiritual subjects I've ever met, a real
artist when it came to teaching.  And he pissed it all
away and did himself in.  Shit happens.  And just because
you can meditate well and do siddhis doesn't mean that
you are above getting some of the shit on you when it
hits the fan.  Look at Chogyam Trungpa, the recognized
tulku of a famous saint, respected by a respected Tibetan
lineage, who drank and screwed himself to death.

Spirituality is not as comic-book simple as some people
would like it to be.  

Unc






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