Great rap, Curtis. Tangential comments below. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Women and men who are hot learn to use it. They learn that it is > sometimes a plus and sometimes a minus but on the whole it opens > a lot of doors for them.
One of my heroes, Charlie Chaplin, once said, "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." For me, the saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to being able to wrap people with your looks. Good-looking people often get LAZY because of how easy it is to wrap people with their looks. They skimp on learning and they skimp on real achievement, because they've never needed them. They've gotten by on their looks for so long that they think they'll be able to forever. I would list George W. Bush as such a person, and I would *certainly* list Sarah Palin as such a person. Both are intellectually lazy, but they *became* intellectually lazy because they never had to use their intellect. <skip to> > I used to look too young as a young adult man. It caused me trouble > in business sometimes. Now I've got the salt and pepper hair and > people take me a bit more seriously, but I became invisible to 20 > something women! Oh well, that age group is more trouble than they > are worth anyway, so I have to suck it up and move with the > changes. I've noticed that men and women my age go through this > identity change and everybody handles it differently. Women > discover that men no longer notice them to hold the door for them. > They don't find guys quite as eager to help them in stores after > a lifetime of men falling all over themselves to assist. I once had the education of seeing this happen to a woman I knew in Santa Fe, the night it first happened. She was in her mid-forties, and still attractive in my opinion, but definitely losing her wrap. (I knew that, but she didn't, until the night in question.) I was clearly not interested in her, but she asked me to go with her to a rock club anyway, because (as she put it), "I desperately need to get laid." The thought never occurred to her that she would NOT get laid. Such a thing had never happened to her in her entire life. No matter where she went, her whole life, all she had to do to get laid was to pout a little or hike her skirt up a bit, and some man would come running. Well, on this particular night, no one came running. In fact, after she noticed this and turned more aggressive in her attempts to wrap the men at the club, some of them ran the other way. She went home alone. You should have seen the look on her face. It was like watching a vampire come home hungry after a night of hunting that hadn't worked out as expected. And, as you suggest, Curtis, the key to whether she was worth spending time with in the future was how she *handled* this realization that she could no longer have anyone she wanted. This particular woman didn't handle it well, and went into a few years of desperation mode until she finally "got it" and settled into being a little more comfortable with her actual age and appearance. > Guys like me stop getting the furtive > glance from 20 something women (unless they are practicing or hate > their dads) and we have to acknowledge this gracefully and not be > bitter about it, not blame women for doing what is natural. Tell me about it. :-) How you handle becoming sexually invisible to women you still find sexually *very* visible is what makes or breaks you as a guy IMO. > That's OK > cuz if you are not bitter, you can find a person who matches your > stage of life and continue the party. The ones who get bitter -- be they men or women -- basically don't get to party any more, period. They get rejected as the bitter old fucks they are, and nobody -- not even people their own age -- want to be around them, much less get it on with them. What interests me in a woman over her mid-forties is how well she "wears" it, and how comfortable she is with her real age. I would imagine that it's the same thing women find attractive (or unattractive) in older men. It's a great *gift* to no longer be able to rely on your looks. It forces you to rely on deeper things, and to develop them.
