Dash, a polygamist with three wives, is father to three sons: Ram, Lak, and Shat. When a witch doctor comes to town complaining that demons are disturbing his ceremonies, Ram and Lak help out by telling him they've kicked the demons' asses. The witch doctor feels better, and all is well.
But Ram is still single, and Dash doesn't like that much, and he wants to fix Ram up with a girl whose pedigree consists of having been found in a field as a baby. So he sets up a kind of a Strongman Contest, in which the guy who can flex his pecs and use them to pump string on a piece of exercise equipment the best gets the gal. Ram wins, and the two get hitched. All goes well until Dash is starting to circle the drain and wants to give his fortune and title to Ram before he dies. One of his three wives, in a scene possibly lifted from a discarded script of Big Love, demands that Dash banish Ram instead. Dash, completely pussy-whipped by not one but three wives for many years, goes for it. Ram, the equally pussy-whipped progeny of pussy-whippedness, agrees. Even though his sweetie wants to come with him, Ram wants to tough it out and show how cool and noble he is by doing the banishment thang all by himself. Even when his dad Dash kicks the bucket and his bro begs him to come back and take over the family business, Ram thinks it's more noble to hang out in exile and leave his sweetie to the sweet ministrations of her vibrator. So his bro installs Ram's best pair of Nikes as CEO of the family business instead. Shareholders actually buy this. Tune in next week, when Supernookie, an evil babe, attempts to seduce the three brothers and, when they're too busy being noble to go for it, tries to off Ram's sweetie in a fit of whore spite. This winds up seriously affecting Supernookie's sense of hearing and smell, and *her* bro doesn't like this much, so he decides to kidnap Ram's sweetie (not that Ram seems to care, still caught up in being all noble and shit). Much mayhem happens, including war, flying monkeys, and genocide. Don't miss The Ramayana, episode 2, in prime time on a cable channel near you.
