--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj <vajradh...@...> wrote: > > > On Jul 20, 2010, at 10:08 AM, tartbrain wrote: > > > Simplistic, uninformed view on my part perhaps, but I think we all > > suffer some degree of personality disorder. Many manifestations are > > small, not seriously consequential, but they do muck things up at > > times -- particularly in interactions with others - (as clearly > > manifest IMO here on FFL). The manifestations are grounds for > > compassion and empathy in my book, not insults (a form of > > personality disorder itself, IMO) > > If you've ever been around a person with an actual personality > disorder, it's said while it won't kill you, being around a > personality disordered person can make you feel like dying, it's that > unbearable. And while it's nice to be relatively compassionate, it's > very unlikely to change much in ways of behavior of such a person > IME. And there is such a thing as stupid or idiot compassion. Very > common among some New Age type groups and Buddhists. Therefore it > might be nice to be compassionate to a person who is verbally abusive > to you the first time they do so, but if they repeatedly berate and > verbally abuse you or others, there comes a time to draw some firm > lines and firm boundaries.
Thats good and not at all at odds with what I was getting at -- though I see my words may have cast me as a compassion-ninny. My point is you don't fight fire with fire. If someone has a disorder, mild (as exhibited here at times) or more, it is not productive to yell at them tell them they are stupid, insult them, and basically try to try to alpha-ape oneself (which is a disorder(liness)in my view.) I earned early in my teens, thanks to my father, don't react. Don't respond to the others out of control, obnoxious or insensitive acts. REacting just adds fuel to the fire. And FFL is a great demonstration of it. Huge forest fires that started with a small fire -- and someone reacts in kind, throws fuel on the fire, and a huge fire ensues. > That firm boundary setting is in and of > itself, another form of compassion, depending on the underlying > intention, as it can force the person to self-reflect. > > Of course the problem is that while someone can avoid such a person > in real life, on unmoderated emails lists, folks with strong > personality issues are often attracted to such lists like flies on > shit, much to the misery (or perhaps amusement) of others on the > list. Of course, YMMV. > > The original post in this thread was actually a list of criteria for > a specific personality disorder, as a comparison with the well- > observed behaviors of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Other than Curtis > commenting that he couldn't deny the congruities, most of the posts > since have been attempts to avoid the issue. >
