Dear MZ - Thank you for this detailed description of your views on "reality" and why you come to the conclusion that your enlightenment was a mystical deceit. Before I make a detailed response I would like your continued indulgence in responding to some of the questions I have. I have had these so-called UC experiences - once for 3 weeks and another much stronger in intensity for 6 weeks, however I'm unable to understand why you have to come to the "conclusion" that you have now and why the experience of "UC" invalidates the concept of a creator. Specifically this quote to start off with " You see, authfriend, the experience that began to take me over on that mountain was the dissolving of my individuality and the classic pantheistic vision of seeing the natural world charged with not, in Hopkins's words, the "grandeur" of God, BUT WITH GOD HIMSELF (or Itself)."
What is the difference between "grandeur" of God and "GOD HIMSELF" that you are referring to here? So I presume in your UC you felt one with GOD HIMSELF, what was this God like? I would love to hear a description of it. And what did you mean by "dissolving of individuality"? I am also more curious in what happened next? Say for the next few years after your UC experience? The reason I ask is during my UC experience I could have used similar words to describe it later - in awe and grace of it. However I most likely would have used the phrase "grandeur" instead of "God himself". I certainly didn't meet God :-(, but I saw the beauty and grandeur of it, I saw the walls of separation I built dissolve, I was overwhelmed by the energy, it was an invasion, a "violent digestion" (thanks Vaj for this phrase) but at no point I would say "my individuality was dissolved". Also I eventually came back to a "normal" consciousness, but after a few weeks I found no longer is my old waking state of consciousness, I felt I was reborn, I was still the same externally, the amount of bliss not same as during the experience, but it is still available on demand. So for me the experience of UC was equally interesting to what has and is happening subsequent to it, the integration, balance it brought to me. So I would appreciate if you could clarify the questions I have on your experiences.
