On Oct 5, 2012, at 8:32 AM, "Richard J. Williams" <rich...@rwilliams.us> wrote:
> > > > "Alright, I will say it: Emily did a major number on > > my ass." > > > But, did you enjoy? > > It's Friday here and you're not even making any sense, > yesterday - Curtis has already left the room. LoL! > Barry - oh come on can't you at least avoid your bullying on Fridays. > > Emily Reyn: > > Dear Curtis: I submit this first memorandum in an effort to smooth things > > over with you on this auspicious Thursday. Feel free to parse the sparse > > details of it at your leisure. MEMORANDUM TWO - GORY DETAILS will follow. > > I promise not to write more than three Memorandums. I promise not to exit > > on an exotic vacation to "anywhere but here." I have taken the luxury of > > stealing your name Emilina for this story (such a cute name; sounds like > > Thumbelina doesn't it?), but have switched up your original context just a > > bit, in the interest of creative expression and to serve up the larger > > goals of coolness and smoothness in my post. I will work hard to prevent > > what was "a series of unfortunate events" (to also steal the title from > > Lemony Snicket) from turning into an epic fail. > > > > MEMORANDUM ONE > > > > To: Curtis, gentle reader on FFL > > > > From: Emilina, HR Department > > > > RE: HISTORY BEHIND: "Alright, I will say it: Emily did a major number on > > my ass. " > > > > Acting as the HR department here at FFL Central Cinema (FFL for short), it > > has come to I, Emilina's attention that there was a situation a couple of > > weeks back that warrants closure. Said situation has the following history > > (in summary and paraphrased): > > > > 1) Emily, a well-nigh saintly actress-in-training, (no relation to me, > > Emilina) received a distressing email regarding her "butting in" on an > > exchange between Curtis and Robin, two of our most famous lead actors. > > Emily had written a post to Curtis which played off of an ironic post by > > Robin, that was intended as humor (embedded with a few tiny teasing > > tweaks). She had followed up with a post that included a video of "Clash of > > the Titans" and a few more teasing remarks to both Robin and Curtis as they > > moved their exchange off-line. > > > > 2) Subsequent to this, Emily received a personal email marked *Private* > > where the author, unknown to Emily accept in name only took her to task for > > egging on Robin, potentially putting Curtis's employment at risk, and > > amongst a few other put-downs, implied that she was taking some kind of > > sick pleasure in it all, deferring to an unstated word for what that was. > > > > 2) Emily, who values her privacy and who currently acts under a false (but > > at least pronounceable) name reacted emotionally to this rude and > > inappropriate email and replied to Sal, negating several of her allegations > > and suggesting she post the email to FFL. > > > > 3) Emily, in a continued state of emotional turmoil, forwarded, (with no > > real forethought whatsoever, feeling the sober reality of having been > > verbally assaulted outside the context of FFL), the unseemly email to Judy > > and Curtis, two people she remembered knew Sal, and asking for review. > > Within an hour or two, Emily realized in horror (I, Emilina go in for > > drama, you must forgive me), that she had made a terrible error in > > judgment. She had, in fact, *also* crossed into personal domains. > > > > 4) Emily determined, after additional review, that she was going to have to > > address the email more definitively with Sal, not personally, but on FFL, > > where it should have been posted in the first place, given that the topic > > was directly related to her posts on FFL. Emily was not comfortable sending > > back a personal email to Sal setting a definitive boundary. She didn't want > > to risk the possibility that Sal might start up an exchange with her, given > > the malevolence of her first private email. However, Emily, having a > > semblance of ethical standards, decided to respect the private intent of > > the email, no matter how aggrieved she was. So, she posted what she > > thought was a clear message to FFL the next day, explaining what happened > > and basically asking Sal not to ever email her again. > > > > 5) Emily missed the obvious (thick-headed hun that she is sometimes).... > > that she had sent Sal's email to two lead actors that have a history of > > lengthy debates. > > > > Now, by this time, Emily realized she was in a bit of a pickle. Although > > she had moved the topic of Sal's unkindly email to FFL where it should have > > been in the first place, she had requested that it remain private. Now this > > resulted in only three people being able discuss it and its relevance to > > the larger situation of how fucked up Emily was or wasn't for writing that > > (highly acclaimed by a few) heavily plagiarized offending first post: > > Emily, Curtis, and Judy. (Sal was nowhere to be found). Emily was preparing > > to leave on vacation to celebrate her upcoming 50th birthday and that left > > just Judy and Curtis in the scene. She had exited stage left to attend to > > her vacation packing. But, she continued to lurk and she became more and > > more nonplussed at the assumptions Curtis was presenting re: her > > motivations and intentions. > > > > Note: I, Emilina, will sanction Emily appropriately by labeling her as a > > Mistress of the Inadvertent Setup. > > > > 7) Emily determined once again, actress-in-training that she is, that she > > was going to have to go back on record before she left to address the > > situation again and correct, as needed, Curtis's representation of her. > > > > Now Emily has often admitted that she laughs a lot at the scenes played out > > on FFL. She has admitted to me (I, Emilina) privately (and she will pay > > for this when I find that book on Satan's Scorn) that sometimes she even > > laughs at another's expense. She pretends that she doesn't (in order to > > maintain her saintly persona), but I know she does. Not because she > > intends any harm, but because certain scenes, usually enacted by more > > senior staff than she (but including some she contributes to) are so god > > damn, fuckin' funny to her. What kind of a sick and twisted sense of humor > > does Emily have, you might wonder? Well, I, Emilina asked her just this > > question. I, Emilina had to give her the "do or die" routine to get it out > > of her, but I did. > > > > She insists her sense of humor delights in the highs, mediums and lows and > > the trials and tribulations that go along with being human. It wasn't > > always this way, but she insists it beats sobbing all the time. She often > > uses the term "tee hee" or "ha" to indicate when she is laughing - but > > again insists, not in a mean or devious way, not a cackle....simply more of > > a spontaneous giggle, or alternately, a chuckle, or even a full-on guffaw. > > > > Note: I, Emilina, have had more than one complaint about her refusal to > > deal with the seriousness of reality and her devious irreverence for the > > feelings of others. I, Emilina promise to incorporate Gigglers Anonymous > > meetings into her recovery plan. > > > > Now, where was I? Oh yes, Emily proceeded with a post to Curtis (see FFL > > Games) intended to take responsibility for her abominable behavior and > > correct a few of Curtis's errant assumptions made in his exchange with Judy > > over Sal's email. Emily left on vacation, confident that Judy, upholder > > of Truth and Justice, would do her best not to let the situation spiral out > > of its appropriate context. > > > > Oh dear, so many words, so little time to fact check or confirm Emily's > > suspect memory. I, Emilina, need to attend to the cauldron - it must be > > boiling for the next scene. But, I am certain I have captured the salient > > points (not all of the points, just the salient ones) of the history behind > > Curtis's last statement (Or, maybe not, as it may turn out): > > "Alright, I will say it: Emily did a major number on my ass. " Which is > > also Emily's line. > > > > Note: It's going to be my, Emilina's call at the end of this fiasco as to > > who has covered their ass better (that's CYA in corporate speak) and whose > > ass has to wear the sparkly gold shorts to the next rehearsal. > > > > Now, to get to Part 2 - GORY DETAILS > > > >
