--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "seventhray27" wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Duveyoung wrote: > snip > > And what next? I continue reading Advaita. I continue looking at > science and seeing ever deeper metaphors for spiritual concepts. I do > relate to this. > > And I divert my brain from vicious cycles with the few entertainments > I've discovered that have that power: trikking, writing, etc. can keep > my brain busy enough to bat away all the shame -- at least for a while. > I remember you saying that Trikking saved your life. I live in a good > neighborhood for Trikking. Curvelinear streets it's called. (an > historic neighborhood) with a 1.2 mile route around. I need to get on > an exercise routine. And really, the neighbors would love to see a new > contraction. A Trikke will do something good for anyone who practices the couple hours it takes to get jiggy. After that, it's like dancing in public every single time.
> > I do have a theory about reincarnation that gives the ego some relief > that "it might have more lifetimes to get saintly," but truth be told, > never being a person again and having no individuality in the ocean of > being sounds like the winning lottery ticket to me. you said: Maybe that is how it > ultimately ends up. But even those who are said to have acheived > enlightenment appear to be put to work on other chores helping mankind, > from what I understand. Yeah, there's all that Yogananda stuff about becoming a guru of a whole planet, etc. I guess if there is reincarnation, then, yeah, sure, why not move to greater responsibility. But, if anything, I certainly learned that being a spiritual teacher is completely NOT about the words of the teacher. In that regard, I find it hard to think I would have the "vibe power" to garner much of a status-at-birth. A yogi is said to pick up where last the spiritual practice had gained, and if so, then I would expect my next birth to be in about the same circumstance and find me working on the same kind of attachments -- not helping others by the virtue of my "embodied silence." The plight of "Edg" and how he ends up in the > future is not "something with great appeal" -- not especially a hot > ticket at the local IMAX. > > > > And too, I'm trying to embrace the mysterium. Trying to calm the ego > down and enjoy, bronco style, the ride on the wild ape through the > time-jungle. Trying to be jiggy with all the smallness of me. Relaxing > into laughter about how itty-bitty petty I am and yet how vast is the > underpinning of everything that everyone ends up being. I'm not a saint, > nor are most folks, but yet we do the things that seemingly divine > puppet strings have us do. Each jerked limb also being a butterfly wing > flapping its presence, causing hurricanes divinely ordained that we'll > never know. > I think we can relate to that. For me it is letting go of expectations, > and dealing with what is at hand. Funny little story. After nineteen > years, my son finally said he might want to read one of my books. So > yesterday I gave him "Initiation" by Elizibeth Haich, before he goes > back to school tomorrow. But I have no expectation that he will read > it. I hope he does, but I've let go of any expectation. Or at least I > think I have. I read that book while on teacher training -- off the program, yep, right from the start. Also got yelled at for being found with a copy of Be Here Now. > > Thanks for your reply. One thing you don't see much of here, are > noticeable changes in people. I don't think we can say that this is the > case with you. And of course, I mean that as a compliment. Thanks, I'll accept that as valid, because I have changed in how I huff and puff here. Other than that, not so much. But, hey, I gave up coffee a couple weeks ago and now my ears don't ring like Quasimodo is tripping on shrooms. So there's that! Hee hee. Edg > > > > Edg > > > > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Duveyoung wrote: > > > > snip > > > > > > And, then, when my faith-bubble in TM finally burst, on exiting > the > > > > TMO, what did I do? > > > > > > > > Yep, I went to about a dozen more seers, readers, jyotishis, > healers, > > > > psychics, and got all my alien implants removed, got my unlucky > > > > numbers to avoid, got my suggested list of yaygas to have done, > got a > > > > Philippine doctor to take bloody raw clumps of meat out of my > body, > > > > got some minister from the Sanctuary of the Om to whisper sounds > into > > > > my ear, got some psychic nurse to scan my family for cancer, (she > > > > missed: my son had cancer during the time of seeing her, but all > she > > > > did was tell us that we needed to eat red meat,) and then toss in > your > > > > assorted Reiki treatments, chiropractic treatments from FF's > > > > enlightened docs who charged $45 a treatment instead of the going > rate > > > > of $20 everywhere else, and, oh, my face is too red to continue > this > > > > listing. > > > > > > > > Spent about $12,000 doing this "exit plan." That was my patterns > -- > > > > that had been honed and wired by me investing in the TMO -- > refusing > > > > to give up the identification I'd pumped into them, ya see? So > many > > > > mystic urges had to be separately extinguished by having each one > used > > > > until clarity dawned and the ruse was revealed. > > > > > > > > Am I free? Phihhh, that's the lesson, see? One is never free if > one > > > > is investing identification into ANYTHING. > > > > > > > > As long as you're splashing sentience everywhere like it was > coming > > > > out of a fire hose, well, any charlatan can figure a way under > your > > > > radar, and blammo, you're back to paying someone to make shit up > about > > > > you. > > > > > > > > It cost so much. I paid so much. > > > > > > > > The time, the money, the failed investments, the shame, the pain > of > > > > the pulling myself roots-and-all out of the FF community where I > knew > > > > a thousand people by name and face, the cost, the cost. > > > > > > > > Yet, who will take the least advice about this from me? > > > > > > > > That's the tell, ya see? We're all winging it and intuitively know > > > > that there are no real experts about what goes on inside one's > robot. > > > > > > > > Gotta laugh. Consider this: > > > > > > > > I'm sorta like the guy who's entered 30 spelling bees and gotten > > > > tossed on the first word every time -- so who's going to come to > me > > > > for spelling advice even with such a deep involvement in spelling > bees? > > > > > > > > Fuck, I'm not even an expert on how to be a loser. > > > > > > > > Anyone got a spare Xanax? > > > > Edg, thank you again for this, four years later. > > > > I can't help but think though, Edg, that you've arrived at a pretty > good place. So, was that because of? Inspite of? > > >
