This is really funny. I love your writing Barry!
________________________________ From: turquoiseb <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Thursday, August 8, 2013 6:18 AM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Jewglass for Google Glass One of the first apps for Google Glass has appeared, and lo and behold, it's an app for religious Jews: http://www.jpost.com/Jewish-World/Jewish-News/New-app-makes-Google-Glass-a-religious-experience-322288 Reading this, I could not help but imagine what the TMglass app would be like. Here are a few proposed features, displayed on your ever-present Google Glass screen throughout the day to help keep you On The Program and On The Path: * Dome Time Reminders -- Natch, these would pop up to remind you when it is time for you to drop whatever you are doing and race feverishly across town so that you can plop your butt on the foam where it belongs. These alerts will be user-configurable, and can start with a slight darkening of the lenses, so that your world starts to appear gray, escalating to red when you're in danger of not making it to the dome in time. * Maharishi S-V Geopositioning -- Now, no matter where you are, you'll know where you are, which direction you should be facing for maximum support of nature, and when you're in danger of entering or exiting from a building using one of the BAD directions. * OTP Detector -- This feature will appeal to Buck. The TMglass app will scan the auras of everyone within your field of vision, and color-code them according to how On The Program they are, so that you can decide whether to greet them as a fellow meditator, avoid them as risky, or run like hell to avoid cooties. * 24/7 Banking Access -- Useful when you're being hit up to contribute to the Next Big Thing, and can't make it to an ATM. All you'll have to do is say aloud, "Google Glass, check my bank balance and give every- thing in it to the TMO." * Dogma Prompts -- Never be caught without an answer to any question that arises. TMglass will detect the questions and pop up a Fully Approved Dogma Quote from Maharishi, so that you can parrot it. * Religion Blinders -- Whenever you are attending a non-religious "celebration" at a TM center that might be perceived by some as slightly religious in nature because it involves chanting to, saying "I bow down" to a number of Hindu deities, giving them offerings, and then physically bow down to them, TMglass will alter your brainwaves so that you don't notice, and will prompt you to say, "TM is not a religion." * Superiority Prompts -- If you find yourself stuck in the same room (or cyber-chat room) with someone who doesn't do TM, or <spit> practices some other form of meditation, TMglass will display a series of dogma- reminders of the numerous ways in which you are superior to these lesser beings. * Kill The Messenger feature -- Whenever anyone makes a clear, cogent, and unassailable criticism of TM, the TMO, Maharishi, or anything related to <genuflect> TM, TMglass will pop up a targeting device and allow you to ZAP! the offending heathens in their tracks, as if struck by a devastatingly coherent laser beam. Actual laser beams will not be available until Release 2.0, of course, but just the belief that you've devastated your enemies should be enough for Release 1.0. After all, that's how "Kill the messenger" works today. :-)
