Way better than group Huggies, IMHO (-: ok, that was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
________________________________ From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2013 7:33 AM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Jewglass for Google Glass Group Huggie?? --- In [email protected], Michael Jackson <mjackson74@...> wrote: > > This is really funny. I love your writing Barry! > > > > > ________________________________ > From: turquoiseb <[email protected]> > To: [email protected] > Sent: Thursday, August 8, 2013 6:18 AM > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Jewglass for Google Glass > > > > Â > One of the first apps for Google Glass has appeared, and > lo and behold, it's an app for religious Jews: > > http://www.jpost.com/Jewish-World/Jewish-News/New-app-makes-Google-Glass-a-religious-experience-322288 > > Reading this, I could not help but imagine what the > TMglass app would be like. Here are a few proposed > features, displayed on your ever-present Google Glass > screen throughout the day to help keep you On The > Program and On The Path: > > * Dome Time Reminders -- Natch, these would pop up > to remind you when it is time for you to drop whatever > you are doing and race feverishly across town so that > you can plop your butt on the foam where it belongs. > These alerts will be user-configurable, and can start > with a slight darkening of the lenses, so that your > world starts to appear gray, escalating to red when > you're in danger of not making it to the dome in time. > > * Maharishi S-V Geopositioning -- Now, no matter where > you are, you'll know where you are, which direction > you should be facing for maximum support of nature, > and when you're in danger of entering or exiting from > a building using one of the BAD directions. > > * OTP Detector -- This feature will appeal to Buck. > The TMglass app will scan the auras of everyone within > your field of vision, and color-code them according to > how On The Program they are, so that you can decide > whether to greet them as a fellow meditator, avoid > them as risky, or run like hell to avoid cooties. > > * 24/7 Banking Access -- Useful when you're being hit > up to contribute to the Next Big Thing, and can't make > it to an ATM. All you'll have to do is say aloud, > "Google Glass, check my bank balance and give every- > thing in it to the TMO." > > * Dogma Prompts -- Never be caught without an answer > to any question that arises. TMglass will detect the > questions and pop up a Fully Approved Dogma Quote > from Maharishi, so that you can parrot it. > > * Religion Blinders -- Whenever you are attending a > non-religious "celebration" at a TM center that might > be perceived by some as slightly religious in nature > because it involves chanting to, saying "I bow down" > to a number of Hindu deities, giving them offerings, > and then physically bow down to them, TMglass will > alter your brainwaves so that you don't notice, and > will prompt you to say, "TM is not a religion." > > * Superiority Prompts -- If you find yourself stuck > in the same room (or cyber-chat room) with someone > who doesn't do TM, or <spit> practices some other form > of meditation, TMglass will display a series of dogma- > reminders of the numerous ways in which you are superior > to these lesser beings. > > * Kill The Messenger feature -- Whenever anyone makes > a clear, cogent, and unassailable criticism of TM, the > TMO, Maharishi, or anything related to <genuflect> TM, > TMglass will pop up a targeting device and allow you > to ZAP! the offending heathens in their tracks, as if > struck by a devastatingly coherent laser beam. Actual > laser beams will not be available until Release 2.0, > of course, but just the belief that you've devastated > your enemies should be enough for Release 1.0. After > all, that's how "Kill the messenger" works today. > > :-) >
