Ahaha sacré bleu that were hiLARious(pronounce: hill LAAAR ee us ) reading moments!
"Sure, deck your limbs in pants; Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance, HiLARious when retreating." --Ogden Nash, with some modification of his droll verse with its unconventional rhymes.Ogden Nash wrote those lines in the 1930s, when people still looked with a more attachment to beauty looked up every time an airplane flew over, and a woman by who wore pants was either an actress or an athlete. Nash could hardly have foreseen the day when, at high noon, two out of every five women passing TurquoisB French Cafe mosaic table would be dressed in trousers. The fact that women's pants are...and want to sit on TurquoisB lap... But sacré bleu prepare yourself to set into a rekindling of a very very American great satire with this very sick man, in the very best sense of that word -Christ Moore.The very blender of surreal, occult, and even science-fiction, lampooner of Shakespeare, San Francisco vampires, marine biologists, Death even Jesus Christ and Santa Claus!-who cares-with franchise-like-franc-free repeating characters and setting Very...what?mmmh privilege? http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=franchise&allowed_in_frame=0 <http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=franchise&allowed_in_frame=0> <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franchising#cite_note-1> <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franchising> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franchising#cite_note-1 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franchising#cite_note-1> --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, obbajeeba wrote: > > Ah, another day in paradise. My hand creeps upon my near shaven jaw this > morning. All of my admirers and (haters), make myself laugh in stitches > I do. Laugh (Haha), I look in the mirror this morning, feels like a > Henley day in May, even with it being close to the end of summer, > probably closer to autumn depending on the logistics of my daily routine > in this south of France, silkroad habitat. Darn caterpillar's dropping > on my tent and the weave of my comb over. > Yawn,and stretch is what I feel this afternoon clutching my keyboard > looking at a quiet start of a day on FFL in the country I once called > home. But not anymore. I live in a place where free sex reigns as the > most modern of degree. Who would have thought, the most sophisticated > culture in the world, also known as the, "Old World," would be right in > tune with the ways things are supposed to be, the real reason I left my > home and love to collect on its thriving SS check, for which I worked > hard to earn to use it as I choose. Ah, the Old world > http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23777246 > as I sip desire the > Darjeeling French style, about to be set on my mosaic table, here at the > outside cafe, pigeon fluff flows over me as the pink Vespa glides by > seeming to kick those sill birds out of way of my view of the most > beautiful French woman who handles the bars better than Clint Eastwood > in a Western. Oh, my non attachment to the beauty as she and she and > she passes by. They notice me, as my distinguished face is noticeable, > my reflection on a window does not need any second check, for I have my > web cam open as a back program running just behind my most glorious > typing to you all on FFL. How I love to write on FFL for all to see, > but I do find it a bit annoying to read many of the posts here, because > there are people who love to carry negative messages about people they > do not even know and lord knows if they misspell in these days of spell > check and online thesaurus avail, not worth my time to read such > imbeciles. > > http://www.france24.com/en/20130820-french-animators-universal-despicabl\ \ > e-me-2-profits > > le-me-2-profits> > If only this keeps up, my worth for the trade may help me become the > likes, like moving from Mountain View to Palo Alto, but it is all the > same here, so no worries. "C'est la vie" BON APPETIT *Lawd > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb wrote: > > > > 11. Violate any of these rules if you're a good enough -- or funny > > enough -- writer to get away with it. > > > > I mention this rule because I've finally got the time to finish > reading > > Christopher Moore's "Sacre Bleu" and my sides ache from laughing. If > > some editor who'd never written a publishable word in his or her life > > but who considered himself/herself an expert anyway had convinced him > to > > "kill his darlings," the book would be one-third the length it is, and > > one-twentieth as funny. Chris definitely knows the truth of "If you're > > not having fun [writing], you're doing it wrong." > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "salyavin808" wrote: > > > > > > Elmore Leonard's rules for writers > > > > > > Next month, the doyen of hardboiled crime writers is publishing a > new > > > book, 10 Rules of Writing. The following is a brief summary of his > > > advice > > > > > > 1 Never open a book with weather. If it's only to create atmosphere, > > and > > > not a character's reaction to the weather, you don't want to go > on > > > too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people. > > There > > > are exceptions. If you happen to be Barry Lopez, who has more ways > > than > > > an Eskimo to describe ice and snow in his book Arctic Dreams, you > can > > do > > > all the weather reporting you want. > > > > > > 2 Avoid prologues: they can be annoying, especially a prologue > > > following an introduction that comes after a foreword. But these > > are > > > ordinarily found in non-fiction . A prologue in a novel is > > > backstory, and you can drop it in anywhere you want. There is a > > prologue > > > in John Steinbeck's Sweet Thursday, but it's OK because a character > in > > > the book makes the point of what my rules are all about. He says: "I > > > like a lot of talk in a book and I don't like to have nobody tell me > > > what the guy that's talking looks like. I want to figure out what he > > > looks like from the way he talks." > > > > > > 3 Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue. The line of > > > dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking > his > > > nose in. But "said" is far less intrusive than "grumbled", "gasped", > > > "cautioned", "lied". I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of > > > dialogue with "she asseverated" and had to stop reading and go to > the > > > dictionary. > > > > > > 4 Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said" . . . he admonished > > > gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal > > sin. > > > The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that > > > distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a > > > character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical > > > romances "full of rape and adverbs". > > > > > > 5 Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no > > > more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. If you have the > > knack > > > of playing with exclaimers the way Tom Wolfe does, you can throw > them > > in > > > by the handful. > > > > > > 6 Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose". This > rule > > > doesn't require an explanation. I have noticed that writers who use > > > "suddenly" tend to exercise less control in the application of > > > exclamation points. > > > > > > 7 Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly. Once you start spelling > > words > > > in dialogue phonetically and loading the page with apostrophes, > > you > > > won't be able to stop. Notice the way Annie Proulx captures the > > flavour > > > of Wyoming voices in her book of short stories Close Range. > > > > > > 8 Avoid detailed descriptions of characters, which Steinbeck > covered. > > In > > > Ernest Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants", what do the > > > "American and the girl with him" look like? "She had taken off > her > > > hat and put it on the table." That's the only reference to a > physical > > > description in the story. > > > > > > 9 Don't go into great detail describing places and things, unless > > you're > > > Margaret Atwood and can paint scenes with language. You don't > want > > > descriptions that bring the action, the flow of the story, to a > > standstill. > > > > > > 10 Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip. Think of > what > > > you skip reading a novel: thick paragraphs of prose you can see have > > too > > > many words in them. > > > > > > My most important rule is one that sums up the 10: if it sounds like > > > writing, I rewrite it. > > > > > > Elmore Leonard 's 10 > > > Rules of Writing is published next month by Weidenfeld & Nicolson. > > (But > > > you won't need it now) > > > > > > > > > http://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/feb/24/elmore-leonard-rules-for-wr\ \ > \ > > iters > > > riters> > > > > > >
