That would be *she* initiates plenty....although I kinda like "Her. Initiates. Plenty."
---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <emilymaenot@...> wrote: Dear Feste, good morning to you too. Did your girlfriend stay over? Wait, that's kind of personal, I don't really want to know...just joshin' you. I totally understand how you would come to the conclusion you have about Sharester - she is what I call an "uber passive aggressive" type. Her initiates plenty towards Judy; hence my begging her to leave Judy alone and come after me when she's feeling like expressing some of her anger inappropriately. It *is* my turn, after all. She's too scared though. She knows I'll ask her how she's feeling and that will upset her thought process. Smile. She's not the kind of woman to act on her own and she's not clear when it comes to me who her backup is. No matter, the offer stands. I don't blame someone either for choosing to hit back...but gratuitous sucker punches and back stabs are a cowardly way to do it, imho. Have a good day. Post some opera maybe? Sincerely, Em ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> wrote: Good morning, Em, My perception of the situation is that Share may respond to attacks but does not, for the most part, initiate them. She is more sinned against than sinning. I don't blame someone if they choose sometimes to hit back. ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <emilymaenot@...> wrote: Dear Feste, this is an example of a letter, you as a good friend, should have addressed to Share, IMHO. Switch out the name "Share" for Judy or Ann, and you've got a letter to deliver to your friend Share. Stated gently with loving kindness and concern for her well-being as a human being, of course. All you said about her vile post to Ann was something like (and I paraphrase)...."I didn't particularly care for it, but she's a friend of mine and I am loyal to my friends." Really? I gave Ravi a bigger ration of shit than that and he gave me one as well. And, I've only met him once. Personally, I depend on my friends that I know in the flesh to tell me the truth and I do the same with them, and we respect and love and trust each other enough to do it and work on owning our own shit. Blind loyalty is a waste of time. ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> wrote: You are as responsible as anyone else for creating an atmosphere of "mutual disrespect." Do you behave like this in your real, day-to-day life? Is that how you talk to people? I don't think so. The real dishonesty, the real lie, comes from you. I think you are dishonest with yourself. I suspect that the truth, as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, is that you enjoy being mean. You enjoy hitting out at other people. My guess is that doing so assuages some of the anger that you feel and gives you some kind of safety valve that you find satisfying. You concoct this fake issue of dishonesty and pretend to yourself that you are the virtuous one, standing up for what is right. Unfortunately, the reality is that you are a person in the grip of some very deep-rooted obsessions that make you very difficult and unpleasant to deal with. Your behavior toward Share is a disgrace. It amounts to harassment, and I don't think this forum should put up with it. You wouldn't be able to do it on Facebook, yet you think you can do it here. You should either change your behavior or unsubscribe. ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <authfriend@...> wrote: So you think lying is fine too? As I've said before, most folks here are honest. But there are still several Bad Apples (fortunately some of the worst ones have left) who have no inhibitions about lying--in particular, about other FFL members they don't like--and I think that is terribly destructive. It's the essence of unkindness. And it's hardly a matter of "old grudges" when it continues to this day. I have never been on a Web forum where lying was so complacently tolerated. But it breeds mutual disrespect and lowers standards of civility generally. I would be willing to bet that if there were less tolerance for lying, there would be a lot less unkindness overall. As I've said many times before, life is tough enough when everyone is doing their absolute damndest to be as honest as they possibly can. There's no excuse for making it tougher. IMHO, of course. ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> wrote: I think people are pretty honest here. The only person who obsesses about lying is you. Your question to Buck is of course just a way of sidestepping the issue of "perpetual unkindness." I can see why you would want to do that, since you are the principal purveyor of it. You need to let go of all these old grudges and obsessions. They are negative attachments that do not serve you well. ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <authfriend@...> wrote: How about the lying? You never mention the lying, Buck. Does that mean you think it's OK to lie? Buck huffed: You can't even hardly invite any civilized person to visit here to FFL with what perpetual unkindness has taken over here on this yahoo-group. It is simply appalling that this culture of low meanness and unkindness has got going here. It is no good to have in our house, But I fear most now for the very life of this entire list if this culture of unkindness is not checked. -Buck