On 8/20/2014 5:36 AM, Michael Jackson mjackso...@yahoo.com
[FairfieldLife] wrote:
This post was a great thing to wake up to! You nailed it pretty well -
my favorite has to be:
"Repairing Your Car With Jyotish And Gemstones."
>
Non sequitur. An inference or conclusion that does not follow from the
premises or evidence. It has already been established that Barry does
not own a car - he uses a bicycle to get around town or he rides a bus
to his vacation spot.
>
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*From:* "TurquoiseBee turquoi...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife]"
<FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
*To:* "FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
*Sent:* Wednesday, August 20, 2014 2:54 AM
*Subject:* Re: [FairfieldLife] part 3 (plus The Future Of FFL)
Ah, the Day In The Life saga continues... :-)
I'm looking forward to finding out what life in The Colony is like,
who runs it, and what the punishments are for transgressors. :-)
As an aside, all these glimpses into the illustrious virtual future of
the TMO have left me wondering what the similar virtual future of FFL
will be. I don't have to go as far into the future as Michael did for
his musings because I suspect that within a year there will only be a
few posters left, the others having long ago realized that watching
paint dry was more entertaining. So here's what's left:
*Richard (Willytex) is still making 150-200 posts a week, even though
no one ever reads or responds to them. He never notices.
* Rick is still posting notices about new interviewees on Batgap, but
no one ever discusses anything any of them say, because no one really
gives a shit about the "everyday enlightened." Everybody wants tales
of the "flashy enlightened."
* Lawson is still searching for that definitive scientific study that
proves that he didn't waste his life on TM, and is becoming a bit
testy when people point out that this search is becoming even more a
waste of life than TM was.
* Edg is largely silent after having been inducted into the Grumpy Old
Man Hall Of Fame.
* Bhairitu no longer posts about conspiracy theories because he's not
allowed to from Guantanamo.
* Jim is still trying to convince someone -- anyone -- that he's
enlightened. And still without success. He's still living in a trailer
park, but a different one because he tried that "I'm enlightened and
you're not and that makes me better than you" routine on his neighbors
in Chico and they laughed him out of town.
* Nabby is Missing In Action. No one has seen him or heard from him
since the night he spent in a cornfield waiting for the Space
Brothers, only to be buggered senseless by them.
* Share is still a blissninny. She recently attended a seminar
entitled "Repairing Your Car With Jyotish And Gemstones."
* Salyavin and Anartaxius are still making sense and acting sane. No
one pays any attention to them because where's the fun in that?
* Michael Jackson has turned his Day In The Life Of A TMer series into
a best-selling series of books and an HBO TV series. He's now so rich
that he's hired Steve as his PR person, because Steve always claimed
to know Michael better than he knew himself, so he was perfect for the
position.
* Judy never came back from her "summer off" because she realized that
almost no one even noticed she was away. She now writes a column for a
New Jersey website called "I'm Smarter Than You Are, And I Can Prove
It." Last year the site got seven "hits" from readers.
* Ann is still making desperate "Pay attention to me" posts, just as
she always did, even though everyone wrote her off as a needy little
attention vampire years ago. Even Share ignores her.
* Barry still sits in cafes and writes, but doesn't post what he
writes to FFL any more because the cafes are in the south of France
and the women walking by are far too attractive and far too
interesting for him to spend any of his time chatting with cult losers.
:-)
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*From:* "Michael Jackson mjackso...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife]"
<FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
*To:* "FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
*Sent:* Tuesday, August 19, 2014 9:58 PM
*Subject:* [FairfieldLife] part 3
Day in the Life (of a TM'er)
Part 3
Governor got up after resting and with all the other governors,
gathered his pillow, backjack and blanket since it was sheet exchange
day. The siddhas and governors themselves wouldn't have to remove the
sheets, that was done by a team of meditators who had been carefully
vetted and investigated by the Purusha Police before being given
license to enter the Domes for menial labor.
Most labor jobs were now done by the meditators. It was an excellent
set up for the siddhas and governors because, due to Vedic Law, the
meditators were available at all times of day and night when the more
important members of Vedic Society were needing to rest, do program or
have meetings.
Since everyone in the New Vedic State of Iowa who had the siddhis was
enlightened it was no longer deemed necessary to have meditators do
group program anymore since the siddhas, governors and Rajas supplied
enough sattva for the entire planet. To be sure the meditators had to
meditate twice a day, that was Vedic Law, but they had to squeeze
their meditations in wherever they could since it was much more
important for them to serve the governors and siddhas. It was
considered their tapas for enlightenment.
At one time serious consideration was undertaken to make the Governors
serve the Rajas and the siddhas serve the governors the governors and
themselves and the meditators were reserved for septic tank cleaning,
road kill removal and so on.
Some very wealthy and Movement powerful siddha families eventually got
that idea quashed, although Neal Patterson, Supreme Ruler of the Vedic
Nation of Canada had instituted that very program in his country after
the Governors and Siddhas had taken over the country and converted it
to a Vedic Society. Just after this law of siddha servitude was
enacted, there was a mass exodus of siddhas from Canada to the US.
Supreme Ruler Neal tried to get them back, but Big Bevan told him not
to send his Canuck Purusha across the border. The allegation that some
of the Canadian siddhas offered their women to Bevan in exchange for
asylum was of course rumor. Bevan did privately offer to send some of
the siddhas back, but only in exchange for Supreme Ruler Neal getting
his hands on one of the Vedic State's most wanted – a Canadian woman
who had once made the nastiest allegations about the Rajas crowns
being made of tin.
Unfortunately this former MIU graduate lived in British Columbia, the
one segment of Canada that had not been taken over by the Movement.
Neal sent some Purusha who had a fascination for ninja literature and
fancied themselves to be Purusha ninja, but being inept they failed to
even identify the woman they were after and several of them were
caught and jailed by the BC police. Next the European Rajas sent a
contingent of German Purusha to do the job and they proved even more
inept. They did find the woman but she kicked the asses of five of
them before the BC police arrived to cart them off.
When Bevan mocked Supreme Ruler Neal's efforts things went downhill.
The last meeting the two men had in a border town in North Dakota had
not gone well. But none of the Purusha guards who had been assigned to
security for the meeting would ever confirm that shouts of "Fat ass
Yank!" and "Fucking Canuck Puff!" had been heard behind closed doors
there.
Exiting the Dome was going slowly and as Governor approached the exits
in the four abreast line he was moving in, he saw the reason. Tables
had been set up nearly blocking the exits. Behind the tables sat
numerous Ministers of Donations, Collections and Revenue. This was by
far the largest of the Movement Ministries and it looked like nearly
half its Vedic State of Iowa Ministers were right there blocking the
exits from the Dome.
No one could get by without first dropping cash or checks into the
hands of the Ministers. King Tony and Bevan were gleefully overseeing
the Raja Crown and Robe Collection Fund.
"That's it boys! Give till it hurts!" crowed Bevan who along with King
Tony caressed each check before handing it over to the Ministers.
Slowly Governor reached the table and wrote out a large and generous
check. He handed it to Bevan who looked at it and nodded. "Good boy!
Keep that up and you may become a Raja yet!"
King Tony quickly clapped his hand over his own mouth to stifle a
snort, but the Ministers all snickered with abandon.
Governor didn't mind giving such a large donation because he knew he
would make the money back just by walking around outside. Governor had
spontaneously developed the siddhi that caused rubies and other
precious gems to leap out of the ground and into his pockets. He
should have been a very wealthy man as a result, but the mandatory 90%
Maharishi Vedic Tax™ on all siddha and governor income required him to
give most of his gems to the Movement.
He was an extremely popular governor as a result of his siddhi, but it
was also the reason he would never become a Raja. Rajas were exempt
from paying any sort of tax or donation to the Movement and Girish,
the Srivastavas brothers, Bevan, King Tony and everyone else who lived
off the TMO were not willing to give up 90% of his gem income.
The Movement would often send Governor to Montana and Western North
Carolina to just walk around and allow the gems to leap into his
pockets. As he would come back from his walks, Girish's
representatives, all Indian gem experts, would eagerly fondle the
stones and take the best for themselves and Girish. Governor would
make do with the rest. Governor had to pay for these gem hunting trips
himself, but as King Tony and Bevan would say as they pocketed some of
his rubies and sapphires just before boarding their private jet –
"What's good for the Movement is good for you too, Governor!"
As Governor was thinking of taking a trip to gem bearing country, he
heard a commotion. One of the siddhas was yelling and gesticulating. A
crowd of yogic flyers gathered round him and were listening to him
shout something about sheep.
Governor moved closer to the commotion and realized it was a man
called Buck.
"The gaddamn bastards have ruined my crops! They stole my gaddamn
sheep too!"
It seems that during program, a Mother Ship had come down squarely in
the middle of Farmer Siddha Bucks alfalfa and soybean crop and created
some elaborate crop designs. They had apparently also made off with a
dozen or so of his best sheep and lambs. Buck's farm was no great
distance from the Domes and you could see the designs in his crops.
In addition, some of his meditator farm workers were waiting for him
outside the Dome and two of them had taken video of the ship coming
down, making the designs and several very human looking aliens exiting
the ship, driving the sheep back into the ship and then taking off.
Buck seemed to be perilously close to unstressing.
"What the fuck! What would aliens want with my gaddamn sheep! Those
were my prize winners! I want my gaddamn sheep back! Whose gonna pay
for the crop loss I want to know!?"
"Vat are you complaining about, Buck?" a tall scrawny governor with a
thick German accent was strutting around near Buck. "Keep your mouth
calm siddha! You should feel grateful zat ze Space Bruzzers chose to
bless your farm mit zeir presence. It’s a great blessing!"
"But why did they take my sheep! These images in the video look like
some European Rajas I saw once – what the fuck?!" shouted Buck.
"Careful vat choo say siddha! Don't make unfounded allegations or I
shall have to report you to ze Purusha Police! Ze Space Bruzzers
probably vanted to make zome kind of sacrifice to Maitreya, zat's vat
it must be, ja ja! So calm yourself down before ve haf to go get ze
Purusha Police, ja?"
Buck's friends and meditator workers hustled him away from the
scribbly German governor. Governor shook his head and began to walk to
his car. As he walked, he could see a few women exiting from the
Ladies Dome.
There were hundreds of men doing program this morning but only a few
dozen ladies. It was his wife's first day of her cycle after all and
most of the ladies in the New Vedic State of Iowa were spontaneously
vedically synchronized together with their cycles.
Those few ladies who did not start their cycles with the entire group
of ladies were looked upon as rather odd, some even thought they might
be guilty of one of the highest crimes in the new Vedic State of Iowa
and that was being Off The Program, that's why those un-ayurvedic
ladies were closely watched by the Mother Divine Diligent Watchers,
the information collection arm of the Mother Divine portion of the
Movement who reported all female unstressing, program violations and
any OTP activity.
There was very little OTP activity anymore since being convicted of an
OTP offense carried a mandatory reeducation sentence. Three OTP
convictions resulted in relocation to The Colony.
End of Part 3
