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I used to lie in bed at night as a child,
especially during the Summer when you're forced to go to bed while it's still
light out, and feel terror. What would happen when I died? What
if the Czech nuns were wrong? What if I don't go to Heaven or Hell?
What if I just go off someplace and spend eternity alone? Up until a
year or two passages like this one below would arouse terror in me.
There was a time in which I didn't exist? There will be a time in which
I'll cease to exist? Now I would take comfort being Alfie in Annie
Hall who married a philosophy major from Vassar who whenever she got mad at
him she proved that he didn't exist.
I don't exist. I am a mere dream of the
Cosmos. I am a mere program running in the Matrix. I am that thing
which neither existed nor non-existed. I was all potential but not
manifest. I was a seed that had not sprouted. And I will return
to the soil from which I grew. I am no longer afraid.
This of course drove and droves my EMDR therapist
nuts. He asked many times if it didn't seem like an old soul in
a new body (God I wish it were at least a newer body), not to lead me on, but to
bring closure to what I was experiencing at the time. I am now
declared by him and a committee of such therapists to be a cured survivor
who should give up this TM business, because it just brings up trauma they want
to vaneer over. He riles when I refer to this as "the body" or "the
intellect" or "the mind". He sees that as depersonalization. I
explain its a style of speaking learned from my cult leader and I go back to
saying "my body", "my intellect" and "my mind" so he doesn't feel he's
violating the oath of office. He still suppects that TM is a form of
hypnosis, but presented a paper at EMDRIA about the fastest, most profound
plowing though and desensitizing of someone to an amazing amount of trauma in a
relatively short amount of time. Unlike most other clients, I didn't need
a few months to work up to a session and a few months to get over it. I
shit it out, flushed the toilet, felt better.
----- Original Message -----
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- [FairfieldLife] Re: Deepak Chopra on Success Tom Pall
- Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Deepak Chopra on Success Rick Archer
