--- In [email protected], Peter <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Whoever wrote this is an idiot.
You mean it's bad satire? > > --- Vaj <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > > > http://www.parrotdogs.com/simuladvaita.htm > > > > Lessons in fake advaita, also known as > > Simuladvaita' > > > > > > > > *tm (spiritual > > neologism from > > simulate + advaita) > > > > Let's face it, the chances of the "Big E" > > (enlightenment) ever > > happening to (or more correctly: 'through') you or > > me are pretty > > slim. This could be seen as grim news indeed to > > earnest seekers. But > > worry not, with a little practise you can soon learn > > to SIMULATE > > enlightenment and fool many a newcomer to the > > advaita scene, and > > quite possibly in time, even yourself! > > > > Part A: Speech. > > > > 1) Of prime importance is conveying the notion of an > > absence of > > 'self,' so the most important first step in learning > > fake advaita- > > speak is to practise avoiding the use of personal > > pronouns...'I', > > 'me', 'mine'. A little care in sentence construction > > makes this > > possible. Throw in some genuine advaita buzz words > > like, 'noumenon', > > 'phenomenon' 'manifests' and 'apparent' and you're > > away! > > > > Some examples: > > > > a)The statement, 'I am horny" becomes, 'It is > > perceived that > > there is a sensation of horniness presently > > manifesting in this body- > > mind.' > > > > Unfortunately for the aspirant, not all > > members of the > > opposite sex (especially the spiritually ignorant) > > will react > > favourably to such correctness of expression, but > > the serious pseudo- > > jnani will surely value projecting and developing a > > firm image of > > Guruhood above an all too temporary roll in the hay. > > In time, once > > his or her reputation is solid and (s)he has a > > following (s)he can > > easily make up for lost time. > > > > b) "This car is mine" is improved to The apparent > > body out of which > > these words seem to be emanating is, in the illusory > > phenomenal > > manifestation, simultaneously the owner of this > > car." Note: Care > > should be exercised if this phrasing is used to > > answer traffic police > > or other authority figures lest more than an > > illusory traffic ticket > > manifests as a result. > > > > 2) Another good habit to acquire is of referring > > to yourself in the > > third person. Like the above rule, this gambit cues > > your listener > > that you are disidentified from the body. > > > > Hence, > > > > "I'm in a bad mood today" is correctly conveyed > > by, "A bad mood, > > which (being temporal) noumenally has no valid > > existence, seems to > > have descended upon John today." Mind you, more > > than merely a bad > > mood might well descend upon John if in his > > eagerness he fails to > > introduce such verbal pretzels gradually to close > > associates. > > > > 3) It is of vital importance that at no time do > > you betray a > > tendency to claim decision making or any forms of > > doership as your > > own. Naturally you DO in fact feel yourself to be > > the doer or author > > of your actions, but appearance is what counts. It > > must look not > > only as though YOU do not decide, but even a seeming > > decision-making > > doesn't ever occur.... things 'just happen'. The > > word 'happen' > > should become one of your linguistic staples. > > > > Note of caution: Once again, the introduction of the > > new non-doing > > you to your family and friends should be done with > > tact. When your > > partner discovers you in a compromising position > > with a member of the > > opposite sex, "I wasn't DOING anything, screwing > > just happened" is at > > least as likely to result in the happening of a kick > > in the butt of > > said body-mind as anything else you might say. > > > > Part B: Behaviour. > > > > 1) One of the great spinoffs of following the > > simuladvaita path is > > that unlike in the rest of society where > > goallessness, a lack of > > planning and sloth are seen as irresponsible vices, > > here they are > > viewed as positive virtues. The less driven, > > passionate or motivated > > you are the better, as this indicates 'dispassion.' > > If you can manage > > not to work at all, this is highly praiseworthy, but > > if you must, > > then at least affect a pose of boredom with your > > job and certainly > > don't harbour any enthusiasm for such frivolities as > > hobbies or worse > > still political or social activism. You should be > > totally > > uninterested in anything that smacks of worldiness. > > > > 2) It is necessary to cultivate an attitude of > > having finished with > > seeking, either because enlightenment has already > > happened or is just > > about to. For this reason it is important never to > > be seen reading > > books that could be considered 'spiritual'. If > > visitors happen to > > discover that in fact you have quite a library of > > such books, worthy > > of a small bookstore (and lets be honest, most of us > > do) the correct > > resonse is that you only still keep them around in > > case someone else > > wants to borrow them. Thus you add altruism to your > > list of perceived > > virtues. Your frequent presence at Satsangs is > > likewise not because > > you have any craving for spiritual attainment, that > > 'dropped away' > > some time ago, but just that you like to keep in > > touch with 'Ol Pete > > (as you call your Guru now) who is no longer really > > your Guru but > > just your good buddy whom you play cards or watch > > football with and > > have a lot of laughs. If you can get away with a > > fond slap on his > > back in front of your neophyte spiritual friends > > (soon to be > > followers) you'll impress them immensely. > > > > Good luck! > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Do You Yahoo!? > Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around > http://mail.yahoo.com > ------------------------ Yahoo! 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