village about 30 kilometers away, because they were
having a medieval festival, and I'm a real sucker
for those kind of things. They always make me higher
than a kite.
This one was no exception. I was sitting there at a
cafe in the town square, drinking hypocras and eating
lamb brochettes while watching the townspeople walking
by in their costumes, and this huge smile began to
form on my face and this almost-irresistable urge
came upon me to say "Yes" and just Wake Up.
But it was tough getting to "Yes." There was a part
of me that was still locked into the dealing-with-the-
pissant-parts-of-life mindstate, and that wanted to
respond to the wonderful day and the cubic centimeter
of chance it had offered me with the standard safe
answer, "Yes, but..." You know...stuff like:
* Yes, I'm having fun here, but I haven't really done
everything I wanted to do with my life yet, have I?
* Yes, that stunningly beautiful woman who just walked
by and smiled at me *is* wonderful, and just the
*sight* of her should make me shout "Yes!" to the
universe, but I'm probably too old for her.
* Yes, this town and this festival and all these
people dressed up in their medieval finery are all
cool, but I did read BBC News this morning, and the
outside world still sucks.
Yes, but. Icky phrase, one we repeat to ourselves in
our heads to keep us from fully relaxing into the
experience of Now, and thus from realizing that the
thing we're relaxing into is not just some emphemeral
moment but the eternality of our Self.
The proper answer to life when it presents us with one
of those cusp moments is "Yes," not "Yes, but..."
IMO, far too much of spiritual teaching is about
training people to respond to life with "Yes, but..."
You all know what I mean. How many times have you,
like most seekers, thought to yourself, "Yes, I'd
like to be enlightened but...?"
It really doesn't *matter* what you put after the
"but...," does it? Whether you think it's "stress"
that keeps you from being enlightened or some skanky
samskara you've never managed to get past, or that
incident from ten lifetimes ago that still has you
convinced that karmically you are lower than the
lint in a snake's navel. *Whatever* it is, it's
just an excuse, a rationalization that allows your
self to say "No" to the Self.
Each of us is already enlightened. The proper answer
when the universe presents us with a cool moment and
that moment asks us whether we remember our own
enlightenment, is, "Yes."
By changing your answer into "Yes, but...," you are
pushing away the Self and saying, in effect, "I'm
not ready to accept that you are me yet, so I'm
going to make up some excuse for why you can't be
me." Then you put that excuse right behind the
"but" in "Yes, but..." and you say it. And as a
result, you create it as a seeming "reality" in
your life. Sigh. Big fuckin' rut. No fun.
There in that cafe in Sommières yesterday, I managed
to get beyond "Yes, but..."
I sat there trying to not have as much fun with the
day as I knew I was capable of having, and then I
caught myself doing it. The moment I did, I was
able to laugh at myself. And through my laughter,
I found my body saying "Yes." Out loud. Weirdest
damned thing.
Everything changed. Background flipflopped into
foreground and the witnessing, a moment before
unnoticed, moved front and center and reasserted
its Self again. And all it took was getting to
"Yes."
I'm sure it'll pass...all things do...but it's
neat while it lasts. Life's cool sometimes, yes?
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