> You buy as many cows as you want. You milk westerners.
--- shempmcgurk <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > INDIAN CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > Indian bureaucracy makes it impossible to open a > business and sell > milk. > You emigrate. > You become enormously successful like all Indians do > once they leave > India. > You buy as many cows as you want. > > > --- In [email protected], Jason Spock > <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > wrote: > > > > > > A Midwesterner's political Primer > > > > DEMOCRATIC > > > > You have two cows. > > Your neighbor has none. > > You feel guilty for being successful. > > Barbra Streisand sings for you. > > > > REPUBLICAN > > > > You have two cows. > > Your neighbor has none. > > So? > > > > SOCIALIST > > > > You have two cows. > > The government takes one and gives it to your > neighbor. > > You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage > his cow. > > > > COMMUNIST > > > > You have two cows. > > The government seizes both and provides you with > milk. > > You wait in line for hours to get it. > > It is expensive and sour. > > > > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE > > > > You have two cows. > > You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of > cows. > > > > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE > > > > You have two cows. > > Under the new farm program the government pays you > to shoot one, > milk the other, and then pours the milk down the > drain. > > > > AMERICAN CORPORATION > > > > You have two cows. > > You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an > IPO on the 2nd > one. > > You force the two cows to produce the milk of four > cows. You are > surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an > announcement to the > analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing > expenses. > > Your stock goes up. > > > > FRENCH CORPORATION > > > > You have two cows. > > You go on strike because you want three cows. > > You go to lunch and drink wine. > > Life is good. > > > > JAPANESE CORPORATION > > > > You have two cows. > > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size > of an ordinary cow > and produce twenty times the milk. > > They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded > trains. > > Most are at the top of their class at cow school. > > > > GERMAN CORPORATION > > > > You have two cows. > > You engineer them so they are all blond, drink > lots of beer, give > excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an > hour. > > Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of > vacation per year. > > > > ITALIAN CORPORATION > > > > You have two cows but you don't know where they > are. > > While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. > > You break for lunch. > > Life is good. > > > > RUSSIAN CORPORATION > > > > You have two cows. > > You have some vodka. > > You count them and learn you have five cows. > > You have some more vodka. > > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. > > The Mafia shows up and takes over however many > cows you really have. > > > > TALIBAN CORPORATION > > > > You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are > two. > > You don't milk them because you cannot touch any > creature's private > parts. > > You get a $40 million grant from the US government > to find > alternatives to milk production but use the money to > buy weapons. > > > > IRAQI CORPORATION > > > > You have two cows. > > They go into hiding. > > They send audio tapes of their mooing. > > > > POLISH CORPORATION > > > > You have two bulls. > > Employees are regularly maimed and killed > attempting to milk them. > > > > BELGIAN CORPORATION > > > > You have one cow. > > The cow is schizophrenic. > > Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times > he's Flemish. > > The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. > > The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's > milk. > > The cow asks permission to be cut in half. > > The cow dies happy. > > > > FLORIDA CORPORATION > > > > You have a black cow and a brown cow. > > Everyone votes for the best looking one. > > Some of the people who actually like the brown one > best > accidentally vote for the black one. > > Some people vote for both. > > Some people vote for neither. > > Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. > > Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell > you which one you > think is the best-looking cow. > > > > CALIFORNIA CORPORATION > > > > You have millions of cows. > > They make real California cheese. > > Only five speak English. > > Most are illegal. > > Arnold likes the ones with the big udders. > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Don't pick lemons. > > See all the new 2007 cars at Yahoo! Autos. > > > > > > > To subscribe, send a message to: > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Or go to: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ > and click 'Join This Group!' > Yahoo! Groups Links > > === message truncated === ____________________________________________________________________________________ No need to miss a message. Get email on-the-go with Yahoo! Mail for Mobile. Get started. http://mobile.yahoo.com/mail
