---Dissatisfied with TM? No problem. Access http://www.arunachala.org and buy some of the audios and the DVD "Sage of Arunachala". Get the Veda Parayana audio tape. Very powerful - has the Rudram. Play the audios once in a while and you'll get all the benefits you need to make it to 2017 (date I'm predicting for the end of civilization as we know it: 90% of the earth's population wiped out by a metereorite).
In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Duveyoung <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Tom T: "wonderful insight and sharing of your journey. Hope that the > rest of the journey falls on you soon. The biggest part of the journey > is to admit , acknowledge and then take action., Looks like steps 1 > and 2 are done. Looks like step three (action) is in your post. > Congrats on a job well done. Tom" > > Edg: Thanks, Tom, and everyone else too for encouraging me. I may > not meditate, now, but I may start again -- if anything, it gets me > quieter and from there maybe I can do Advaita's self inquiry with less > distractions -- something like that, but without a "Holy Tradition" > behind it, creating my own "mix" of techniques is going to take a bit > more clarity than I have now, methinks, if such a "program" is to be > successful in the ways I would like -- namely: improvement of my > mind's contents in terms of the kinds of POV's I CHOOSE to assume. > > "CHOOSE" means I sometimes have enough arm's length from a POV to have > "side thoughts" that advise me that my POV is, as all of them are, > parochial and untrue from most other POVs, and thus, I am identifying > with point values only, not unboundedness, but nonetheless, even with > my side thoughts, there I am indulging in the POV of the moment as if > it's hot off the ritam grill. I have come to so dislike this > "suckering into belief" by my nervous system as it effortlessly > captures my identity. Small choice in rotten apples, but there I am > slurping even the goo at the bottom of the barrel. "Slurping" means > having fun like a hog -- face immersed into the slop, inner eye > closed, grunting with delight. Nice while it lasts, but it sucks when > it ends. > > Oh, I believe most of the SCI axioms. I teach them today to my > grandchildren. And, I believe TM gets one to that gap between ego and > the Absolute, and that's a good thing, but for me to think that that > practice of hanging out with the subtleties will quickly, > effortlessly, spontaneously change my "noisy surface" personality for > the better would be for me to deny all my experiences. > > I remember when someone told me that Charlie Lutes had said that the 5 > - 8 year promise was bogus for most of us and that it would take at > least several lifetimes. Man, I hated Charlie for that -- yet now, it > seems to be one of the few things he ever said that was true. > > Now, when I think, "hey, only a few lifetimes and I'll make it all the > way," I say, "Well, I'll just be like India." > > India? Yeah, when Maharishi was asked why India, with all its saints > and pure knowledge, was so fucked up, he said, "India has been so pure > for so long, India can take some time off." Something like that. He > giggled as he said it. So I'm taking some time off. Just gliding on > my supposed past merits. > > When I see how little in my life has been deep instead of my normal > surface-shit-house-rat-panic-thinking, I get depressed and "why > bother" is a strong dynamic in my response. 29 years and what did I > get? Don't ask me. I can pretend I have a wider ken, a bigger > compassion, a stronger resolve, whatever, and it may all be true, but > that and a nickle gets me a ride on the Staten Island Ferry in 1963. > > Today, I'm thinking NOTHING gets me happy -- can't fool me with "this" > when I have a hunger for "I AM THAT." I'm smarter than most folks, > but there's millions smarter and more passionate about ANYTHING than I > am, and they're as miserable as me. So fuck the intellect for a tool > for happiness. And, there's folks out there with hearts the size of > watermelons who can't get two friends to stop fighting, so who can > invest merely in "being loving?" And on and on, no qualities of the > relative personality can guarantee anything -- one gets what one has > got coming. I'm quite a wonderful person, by most standards, but > remember that Shakespeare ended the "what a piece of work is man" > soliloquy with "Why it appears no other thing to me than a foul and > pestilent congregation of vapors." > > And with what karma I got, hey, the TMO won't be making me the poster > boy for TM. I feel like a "bad little boy who crawled up on my > father's lap so that when Dad finds out about the broken window, he > won't be able to get all his weight behind the first swat on my ass." > I cannot gainsay what's happened to me -- it is very clear that my > personality needs the kind of shit I've endured to get its act > together. Karma is yagya, right? It's all good. > > Oh, yeah, my life would be much better if I just shitcanned the > depression, rolled up my sleeves, put out some productivity, > volunteered at the local homeless shelter, wrote the poetry I'm > capable of, sang louder in the congregation, whatever, and yeah, I'm > doing that to some degree -- hell, I dance in the streets on my Trikke > -- but it isn't and can never be the whole magilla, right? Can't earn > enlightenment. > > Even God-Consciousness, we're advised, is best tossed as a limited > state. And how far am I from GC, eh? Best to take it a bit easier on > my road, methinks -- not work up such a sweat by overdoing it with my > "expectation machine." > > So, I'm India. I'm taking it easy. I am kind when I am able to be > kind. I keep the anger down to a roar, and I try and try and try to > think at least one truth a day, but I'm not going to tell anyone to > spend $2,500.00 on a technique given out by a person who may have just > made the whole system up and that has not served me in any respect > that I could call "easily observed, provable." > > And, one other thing Charlie said that was true: "When we meet God, > we don't want justice, we want mercy." > > I thought TM was mercy. God was going to let me off lightly. > > Ha! It just made me more conscious of my chagrin. > > Okay, I'll stop here. Tired of this post's POV. > > I'm okay by most measurements, not wallowing in misery cuz I can > divert with lots of activities that take up most of my awareness, and, > truly, I'm no victim except of my self. Lots of times, I'm having > fun, not obsessing about the failures or injustices, and you'd never > know, indeed, I myself hardly ever know, what a pissant I can be if I > POV my mind to it. Mostly, I'm just skating on thin ice, whistling > like I don't hear the jagged cracks coming up fast behind me, but > there's always cuddling with my woman to beat back the demons as we > pretend together that the dark night is romantic. > > Edg > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, > "tomandcindytraynoratfairfieldlis" > <tomandcindytraynoratfairfieldlist@> wrote: > > > > Edg writes snipped: > > Jerry, you can keep your mouth shut, and be just like me, a fucking > > coward. > > > > Edg > > > > Tom T: > > wonderful insight and sharing of your journey. Hope that the rest of > > the journey falls on you soon. The biggest part of the journey is to > > admit , acknowledge and then take action., Looks like steps 1 and 2 > > are done. Looks like step three (action) is in your post. Congrats on > > a job well done. Tom > > >
