I have been away from the computer for some time, spending all my thought and time with Loki. Thank you Terrie, Kristi, Nina, Barb, Cherie, Jen, Tonya, Joan, Carla, Michelle, and Kerry for your warm thoughts and advice.
Michelle, you suggested steroids. The only steroid the doctor mentioned was Prednisone, which I am familiar with because of a friend with Crohn's Disease. The Doctor indicated that this would be a longer term treatment, but while having a different effect, would be slightly less effective than the near term relieve of a diuretic. I believe the he was indicating the tumor was too large for the steroids to have a great effect; and that while prolonging life, life would be less comfortable. I've been making sure Loki is having some wonderful days, although it's been difficult at times with the rain we've been having. He doesn't normally get to go outside, except for the large deck, which he loves. In good weather, the deck has always been open to him. However, these days, I've let him outside to explore and wander in the wild grass around the house. He loves it and has all the energy for it. I think it is wonderfully distracting for him. His breathing has been the same. Getting rest is a difficult for him, but the good days, I feel, have offset the labored breathing. Evaluating every breath, every movement; every happy purr, head-but, kneading action, and roll onto the back; every nap, sleep, eating habit, toilet deposit; every behavioral change, uncomfortable sleeping or relaxing position, has been stressful for me. When to let go is so hard, but I am trying to be unbiased with the decision about when his quality of life is no longer good. This early evening, I think I am noticing more labored breathing. I am also noticing more difficulty with finding the right position to sleep. He is favoring harder, flatter surfaces to sleep on so as not to impede breathing. I am accommodating this with soft towels on the hard surfaces he favors, with an extra small roll for his chin to rest upon. This is desirable for him. Of course, this is now very distressing for me, as I am feeling the time is near to let him go. I will hope for a clear morning/day for him to explore outside, then reevaluate. No need to respond to this. I just needed to let you know and to write it down for myself. Steve
