Lisa,
Oh hon...I know how hard this is for you, I've been there too. ....Try not to be too hard on your boyfriend tho. Men are raised to "fix things"...he is seeing the same thing Akira is going through and what you are going through and its tearing him up too...he doesn't know how to "fix it" any more than you do, but see he's "SUPPOSED" to know...;-) so damnit he's gonna try to fix it "if you would just let him"! :-) And what is upsetting to him is that you "don't seem to want to let him help you both." Now I know that Akira is your cat, and the decisions are YOUR's to make, but your bf is scared out of his mind too...of loosing Akira, for his own feelings toward her....and of loosing you, because right now, when all his logic tells him you should be needing him the most..you seem to be pushing him away, shutting him out, dismissing him, and he doesn't understand why. I truly doubt he is TRYING to make you feel bad...he prob. just sees your
rejection of his suggestions as a rejection of HIM...Let's face it...this might very well be the first time he's had to deal with death without Mom & Dad sheltering him from it, or leading him through it...so now all of a sudden he's the "adult" and he's going to help you if it kills you both! (Its very sweet...in a way....as much as it is irritating.) He's trying to play guardian, protector, savior, lover & Dad...he doesn't know where to put himself, any more than you do right now...he's as scared as you...maybe more so, because Akira isn't his so he can't actually "take charge"...he feels helpless too...and since helplessness is a "weakness" he might be showing it as anger. I don't know how to tell you to deal with him...I just didn't want you to think that he is trying to hurt you...if he's never been demonstrative toward you before...its prob. just his fear and confusion that he's transferring...
At least that's an educated guess from what I've read that you've posted....if I've totally missed the mark...forgive me...just trying to help.
God Bless.
T
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
In a message dated 5/16/2005 4:27:27 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:http://www.vetinfo.com/cchohep.html#CholagiohepatitisI want to thank everyone for their continued prayers adn kind words..they mean so much to me.,...I wish I could get hte same here.,...at home.Im so upset and just crying..inside..but can hardley seem to cry outwardly.....My bf is not being overly nice about this..he wants to save hr no matter what..which I dont think is going to happen...and he is just making my second guessing myself all that much worse....and even (I think..he says not) using it to make me feel worse about not doingt he feeding tube up front..I asked hi what were we supposed to do if one of the other needed vet care soon....hes like "I dunno"....well???? what kind of answer is that???? and then what about her?..and what she wants...I TOLD him it would be a long.,..not so pretty proccess..I dont know what he thought would happen...hes all "shes thin, shes losing her balance, her eye lids (third) are half way up, she ..this and that"..and I KNOW....I jsut wish he would shut up....he doesn't care if its natural..he thinks its awful..adn now that I am doing teh what ifs...even more to myself..he is using that to make it worse on me..even though he swears he's not...as to everyone's suggestion..I have told her that is is ok for her to go..and I really mean it..I am terrified of seeing her this way....... and am terrified of loosing her..she means so mcuh to me....she taught me so much, she has endured so much,...and she has taught others so much,.,,she is so special, and so magical....this hurts so much..and I feel the only place I can get any comfort is here on the internet..not even at home!!!! Yet I really mean its ok for her to go.....and I say it as honestly and heart felt as I can...I tell her I understand...and will see her again..adn know she will always be by my side..until she comes back to me...and to Belinda..about teh hepatitis thing..I THINK that that is what teh liver biospy is for that they would have to do to her ....Lisa and the furbrats
Akira, Indy, Spooky, Mona, Lancelot, Bowtie, Bennie and Anza
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