Sorry for your loss of Andy.
From: Jamie Laws <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Andy is gone
Date: Mon, 23 May 2005 16:47:36 -0700 (PDT)
Thanks to all of you who took the time to respond about Andy. I do
appreciate it. Barb, Sharon, Yvonne, Terrie, Belinda and anyone else I may
have missed- it was good to hear from you again. To the others- it was
good to "meet" you for the first time.
I did take him to the vet first thing this morning. Dr. Caldwell was in
surgery so I saw Dr. Baxter instead. Also a very nice man. Every person
in that place has just been wonderful! He looked at Andy's chart and said
he hoped I didn't think of them as "bad" since my very first experience
there has been this ordeal with my baby boy.
Anyway, he was very straight forward and said while he wanted to commend me
on an outstanding job taking care of a Felv+ cat for this long, that there
was not much he could do and that this was the beginning of the end.
Whatever was going on had his insides in shreds. The vet said even if I
WANTED him to run tests, he was 99% sure that Andy would not come out of
the sedation in that state. Barb- it was so strange. He held up Andy's
face so we were eye to eye and said "Mrs. Laws, tell me, do you really see
Andy there anymore?" And the answer was no. So I started bawling and
babbling about how I didn't warn my husband that this was a possibility
this morning and he just went to work without saying goodbye. I mean I was
a crying freak and I just met the man! So he gave me a small TOWEL and
said I was not having a "Kleenex cry" so to take a towel. Then he told me
we were not making the call right now, and not like that. He gave him a
bag of fluids and a shot of Prednisone and
told me to talk to my husband first. I went back to work, then came and
got Andy at lunch. I took him home and spent the afternoon with him. He
pooped blood all over himself TWICE. The second time I was washing him off
in the sink and he had one of his episodes (Dr. Baxter said these were
probably small strokes rather than seizures). But this time it lasted a
long, long time. He quit breathing and went limp in my arms. No noise, no
chest movement. He was gone. So I laid him on the floor on the towel and
my phone rang, it was my husband. So I was hysterical telling him Andy
just died in my arms and I was freaking out. Right then, Andy let out this
gaspy, panting type breath and started convulsing. Then he just kind of
sat up a little bit like nothing happened! But he was dead I tell you. So
then I really freaked out and said "he's not dead!" I mean screaming it.
So Abe (husband) asked what freeway the new vet was off of since he was on
his way home. I told him where
it was and he just said "I am meeting you there right now." So I knew.
I was not going to keep him through the night to spend a little more time
together. That was it. He was suffering and I was thinking of what I
needed to be okay and not Andy. I wrapped him in a towel and drove to the
vet. I called first and again, just crying into the phone I managed to get
out "I had my cat in there this morning and..." that's all I could get out.
The poor girl who answered said "I'm so sorry Jamie, we will see you in a
minute." She knew my name and I hadn't even mentioned the cat's name.
Guess I was the only bawling woman in with a cat today. Anyway, I managed
to choke out "but you close in 15 minutes." She just said "we'll be here."
It was so wonderful to be treated with compassion. My old vet would have
said "well ER hours start in 15 minutes so just be prepared to pay double."
Anyway, I met Abe there and Dr. Baxter took us back to the treatment area.
Andy laid on the table very still and I petting him and kissed his little
face as the vet gave him the injection. I have never witnessed an animal
bing PTS in real life. I'm sorry if this is all too graphic but it helps
me to get it out. I was surprised that his eyes didn't close and nothing
changed. I didn't realize he was gone until the vet said "ok, his heart
stopped." Then I lost it. The "never agains" hit me like a ton of bricks.
He will never do his cold nose bumping and tiny front teeth nipping on my
husband's inner arm trying to get him to pet him. He will never serve as
my "fun police" when I want my great dane to stop bringing his toy to me.
I would just lay it on the coffee table right next to Andy who was always
ready with his right hook. That kept Apollo in check. He would NOT go for
that toy if Andy was sitting by it. :) I will never again have my soft
little lap warmer as I sit at
my computer. I will never. There are millions of those and I think
that's the worst part.
I guess the bright spot is I think I found a new vet. Their office visits
seem really high to me, but they were just so wonderful to me. After it
was done, the vet and the tech both said to just go on out the front since
they saw me getting my wallet out to pay. I am getting his ashes on
Thursday so they said to just take care of it then. I swear, my old vet
would have followed me out to the front and told the girls at the front
desk "she hasn't paid for the euthanasia yet." He has the bedside manner
of a barracuda. But anyway, that's it. My head is pounding from crying so
much so I am going to make myself a stiff drink now and piddle around in my
garden for a while. What a sad day.
Jamie
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