I just read Lisa's post about little Akira and was struck by
something she said. The part about what they teach us. The "why me,
why this cat" will drive you insane. I mean you just love them so much
and they are so special that you have to wonder WHY? Well I think I
know.
Perhaps I am biased, but I can tell you there was something
about Andy. I mean I love my other 2 cats, but Andy had the "It"
factor. People were drawn to him. People who don't like cats liked
him. He was so handsome and so sweet and so... well, cool. So why do
I think he was stricken with Felv? Because he is unforgettable. He
makes an impression on anyone who meets him. When I moved to Georgia 3
months after he was diagnosed, I went to the first vet in the phone
book- Accute Care Veterinary Clinic- because he was so sick and I knew
no one in that town. There, Dr. Brucker, like may vets, was telling me
it was hopeless. Unbeknown to me, Andy was in his hemobartinella bout
at that point but the vet heard me say "felv" and all desire to treat
that cat flew out the window on his part. So I took him home to die at
that point. This was 6 YEARS ago and he just died yesterday. So I get
on the List and email like mad. Then Pam, Rissa-Tai's mom, posts and
said "MAKE that man test for hemobartinella!" I had no clue what that
even was. Pam did b/c Rissa had suffered through it. Back we go to
the vet and Dr. B tells me he doesn't want me to "waste" $50 on that
test, especially when they can have it and it won't show on the test
anyway. But at Pam's insistence, I
insisted. That is what Rissa-Tai did. She saved Andy. And many
others I'm sure, but here is an instance where I can directly link a
life saved because of HER bravery and suffering. So we did the test
and it was positive! He sent me home with some Doxycycline and said
"don't expect miracles." That cat's RBCs shot up and he was running
around and playing again almost overnight. The vet was stunned. So
for 2 years we had an understanding that he would never count Andy out
like that again and we were TREATING him for LIFE not managing him for
death. At the end of the 2 years I came into the clinic and said I
needed my records copied since my husband was out of the Army and we
were moving back to Texas. Dr. Brucker looked like I punched him in
the gut. Then proceeded to tell me how much he learned from me and
Andy and how he would forever change the way he approached the
treatment of Felv+ cats. So there is one thing Andy did. How many
cats were saved because this vet changed his attitude about Felv? And
just now at this new vet, Dr. Baxter was stunned at how long he lived
and really picked my brain about what I had done for Andy all these
years. So I told him about the List, and stress management,
Interferon, the various supplements, etc. He was familiar with most of
it, but now had reason to SUGGEST IT TO FUTURE PATIENTS! He said they
succumb to it anyway, and I said but look how much time you can get
with them if you treat it. Just thing about HIV+ people. They will
eventually die from AIDS but you don't know when and the better they
are taken care of the longer their life will be. So I think Andy made
an impact there too.
Of course I have to mention James' cat Vyvyan whose battle with
Felv inspired him to create this website and this wonderful place for
us to come together and share, learn, laugh and cry together. Many
thanks to James and Vyvyan for that.
They come into our lives for a fleeting moment and touch us so
deeply. But like all of us, their purpose is much greater than to
bring the joy and love and fulfillment that they do end up bringing to
our lives. That is just a fabulous, beautiful byproduct. So Andy,
Vyvyan, Akira, Rissa-Tai and all of your wonderful babies served a much
greater good. For me, I am clinging to what I know in my soul to be
true. That wonderful creature came into my life and changed me at my
core. I became heavily involved in animal rescue because of him on top
of everything else. I would have never done that if it was not for
Andy. They say you cannot know true joy without knowing true sorrow.
I believe that, and I now know that I have experienced true sorrow
through the loss of Andy. The selfish side of me wants him here, whole
and healthy. I don't want him to be gone, yet helpful to others. I
won't deny that. I want him back so much. But he did what he was sent
to do and he is gone now. Before we went back to the vet yesterday
afternoon, I explained to Andy about the Rainbow Bridge and that he
would be there in a few minutes so just hang on for me. And soon, but
hopefully not TOO soon, I will come pick him up from there and we will
go on to Heaven. So that is where we stand now and I just hope God
will grant me the gift of relief from this unbearable pain.
Thanks once again to everyone for your kind words, emails and
support through this.
Jamie
