I just read Lisa's post about little Akira and was struck by something
she said. The part about what they teach us. The "why me, why this
cat" will drive you insane. I mean you just love them so much and they
are so special that you have to wonder WHY? Well I think I know.
Perhaps I am biased, but I can tell you there was something about
Andy. I mean I love my other 2 cats, but Andy had the "It" factor.
People were drawn to him. People who don't like cats liked him. He
was so handsome and so sweet and so... well, cool. So why do I think he
was stricken with Felv? Because he is unforgettable. He makes an
impression on anyone who meets him. When I moved to Georgia 3 months
after he was diagnosed, I went to the first vet in the phone book- Accute Care
Veterinary Clinic- because he was so sick and I knew no one in that
town. There, Dr. Brucker, like may vets, was telling me it was
hopeless. Unbeknown to me, Andy was in his hemobartinella bout at that
point but the vet heard me say "felv" and all desire to treat that cat flew
out the window on his part. So I took him home to die at that
point. This was 6 YEARS ago and he just died yesterday. So I get
on the List and email like mad. Then Pam, Rissa-Tai's mom, posts and
said "MAKE that man test for hemobartinella!" I had no clue what that
even was. Pam did b/c Rissa had suffered through
it. Back we go to the vet and Dr. B tells me he doesn't want me to
"waste" $50 on that test, especially when they can have it and it won't show
on the test anyway. But at Pam's insistence,
I insisted. That is what Rissa-Tai
did. She saved Andy. And many others I'm sure, but here is an
instance where I can directly link a life saved because of HER bravery and
suffering. So we did the test and it was positive! He sent me home
with some Doxycycline and said "don't expect miracles." That cat's RBCs
shot up and he was running around and playing again almost overnight.
The vet was stunned. So for 2 years we had an understanding that he
would never count Andy out like that again and we were TREATING him for LIFE
not managing him for death. At the end of the 2 years I came into the
clinic and said I needed my records copied since my husband was out of the
Army and we were moving back to Texas. Dr. Brucker looked like I punched
him in the gut. Then proceeded to tell me how much he learned from me
and Andy and how he would forever change the way he approached the treatment
of Felv+ cats. So there is one thing Andy did. How many cats were
saved because this vet changed his attitude about Felv? And just now at
this new vet, Dr. Baxter was stunned at how long he lived and really picked my
brain about what I had done for Andy all these years. So I told him
about the List, and stress management, Interferon, the various supplements,
etc. He was familiar with most of it, but now had reason to SUGGEST IT
TO FUTURE PATIENTS! He said they succumb to it anyway, and I said but
look how much time you can get with them if you treat it. Just thing
about HIV+ people. They will eventually die from AIDS but you don't know
when and the better they are taken care of the longer their life will
be. So I think Andy made an impact there too.
Of course I have to mention James' cat Vyvyan whose battle with Felv
inspired him to create this website and this wonderful place for us to come
together and share, learn, laugh and cry together. Many thanks to James
and Vyvyan for that.
They come into our lives for a fleeting moment and touch us so
deeply. But like all of us, their purpose is much greater than to bring
the joy and love and fulfillment that they do end up bringing to our
lives. That is just a fabulous, beautiful byproduct. So Andy,
Vyvyan, Akira, Rissa-Tai and all of your wonderful babies served a much
greater good. For me, I am clinging to what I know in my soul to be
true. That wonderful creature came into my life and changed me at my
core. I became heavily involved in animal rescue because of him on top
of everything else. I would have never done that if it was not for
Andy. They say you cannot know true joy without knowing true
sorrow. I believe that, and I now know that I have experienced true
sorrow through the loss of Andy. The selfish side of me wants him here,
whole and healthy. I don't want him to be gone, yet helpful to
others. I won't deny that. I want him back so much. But he
did what he was sent to do and he is gone now. Before we went back to
the vet yesterday afternoon, I explained to Andy about the Rainbow Bridge
and that he would be there in a few minutes so just hang on for me. And
soon, but hopefully not TOO soon, I will come pick him up from there and we
will go on to Heaven. So that is where we stand now and I just hope God
will grant me the gift of relief from this unbearable pain.
Thanks once again to everyone for your kind words, emails and support
through this.
Jamie
