Oh Susan, I'm so sorry about Butternut. What a story. Such a special
boy! What a miracle that he found his way to you! I wish I could be
there to hold your hand and try and comfort you. His time was too
short, but filled with love and belonging. What a wonderful gift to
have given each other. Such a terrible loss.
My felv babies were born with it too. I know the fear of living with
the knowledge that any day could be the day they take a downturn they
won't recover from. At 3 1/2 years old, and "wonderfully healthy and
happy" all that time, you must have been hoping that somehow he had
escaped the fate of so many others. I know MC says we should never say
"I know how you feel", but I truly believe I do. There are 3 remaining
kittens from my litter of 6 bottle babies still with us, (they're now
approaching 2 yrs). Two of them are, like Butternut, perfectly healthy
and happy. Gracie, as you may remember from my posts, has been sick off
and on again since she was about 5 mos old. I do know what it's like to
live with the dread and the optimism they inspire. It makes no
difference that they live "longer than expected". It hurts like hell to
lose them. Keep your heart and mind open to the signs that Butternut is
still with you. Watch your other kitties for behaviors that you would
only have expected from him. It's comforting to know they are still
with us in spirit, but so very hard to adjust to the absence of their
physical presence. Give yourself time and the permission to grieve.
You did right by him all his young life. From the moment you heard
about him, until the moment you released him from the suffering that he
would have endured had you not. You loved him fully and he returned
your love. Bless you for being such a good mom.
Nina
Susan Loesch wrote:
Yesterday I lost Butternut to this evil disease. He was 3 1/2 years
old - so I know he has lived longer than most babies born positive - but
is wasn't long enough. It never is, is it.
I am in Arkansas and over 3 years ago there was a situation in the
northern part of the state - out in the sticks somewhere - where lots of
cats were left at a trailer park of some sort. It was in the news that a
vet had been hired to euthanize them all.
2 members of our rescue group headed up there to see what could be done
-- all they managed to save was one little orange tabby boy, Butternut,
who tested positive for feleuk. Since I already had feleuk babies,
including Gloria's Mittens and my Leader and their littermates, who were
the same age as Butternut, I took him. He has been wonderfully healthy
and happy and very much loved for the whole of his short life.
Over the last couple of days he went downhill fast and yesterday lost
the use of
his hind legs. We chose to free him before he began to really suffer.
I know he is playing at the Rainbow Bridge with Mittens and the rest of
our feleuk babies. Thanks.
