Nina, I'm so sorry. I can say that as animals lose weight it does make it more difficult to find a vein. My vet can find a vein in a potato, but it sounds like your favorite vet is not available. Make sure that whoever you decide on sedates her first. Also, do NOT let them take her away from you to find a vein. I learned that the hard way. God bless you both, and I hope things go peacefully for you both. I'm thinking about you. I hope support from this list helps a bit. I'm so, so sorry.
tonya --- Nina <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > My Beloved Group, > First of all, I'm sorry I haven't been able to participate fully in > the > group this last couple of weeks. I love you all, but for the last > couple of days, I haven't even been able bring myself to read the > posts. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted by Grace and my last > > efforts to bring her back to health. Yesterday, I finally resigned > myself to thinking of our time together as 'death bed vigil'. Those > of > you that know me, know that I pray all your babies are safe and > healthy, > and those that are losing, or have lost the battle; my love is with > you. I don't know what I would have done without the love and > support > of this group. You have been a Godsend to me and my sweet fur > angels. > > Yesterday morning Gracie "told" me she does not want to stay. Among > other signs, I was syringe feeding her and she refused to swallow. > I'm > trying my best to make peace with her decision. I know you > understand. > She hasn't eaten on her own for a long time now and she's skin and > bones. She spent a nice peaceful day, and I did my best to just "be > with her". During the afternoon she made it clear that she didn't > want > to be sung to, or touched. It's so hard on me to watch her pull > away. > At one point, she seemed a bit agitated so I ground up a tiny bit of > Valium and gave it to her in water. She was so relaxed she even did > a > stretch-semi roll out on the patio in the sun. She did something > that > startled me, and got my hopes up again. (I just can't stop believing > in > miracles). I was giving the dogs treats and she was laying on the > couch. Well, we have this thing Grace and I. Whenever the dogs get > treats she'd come bounding over the barrier and expect one too. When > > she saw me giving the dogs treats this afternoon, she jumped off the > couch. I started to cry, because I thought, there's no way she's > going > to take a treat. I put one in front of her anyway and you could have > > knocked me over with a sigh. It took her a minute to decide to eat > it, > but she not only ate that one, but 3 more. Then she ate 3 or 4 > pieces > of kibble! My hopes were short lived though. > > I've been up with her most of the night. She still doesn't want my > attention. She doesn't even want me to look at her, it's breaking my > > heart to say goodbye, and I guess it may be making it harder for her > to > go, although that is not my intention. It's not like I don't want > her > to leave her body, I do. I want her suffering to be over. > Yesterday, > when I knew it was time, I called my Internist's office to see if Dr. > > Ortega would be willing to help her cross. Grace has always liked > Dr. > Ortega, and I thought she would be calmest with her. Well, my > Internist > isn't going to be in the office until Friday. It doesn't seem > possible > that Grace will still be here by then. My stance has always been, > that > when I know it's the end, when I know that the chance of a recovery > after treatment isn't possible, then it's time to help them cross. > Even > though Grace is peaceful, (she just lays on her side and breathes > shallow, but relaxed breaths), I have a hard time letting nature take > > it's course. It's arrogant of me, but I can't stand seeing her like > this. I'm also so worried about her being in pain, when I look in > her > eyes, she doesn't seem in pain, but she doesn't seem like herself > either. I wouldn't mind vacant, but it's almost like she's... not > quite > angry, more like annoyed to still be here. > > Just to let you know... Over the past week or so, I think I may have > > mentioned it, we've been following an extensive homeopathic regime > with > the help of a practitioner named Darla Palmer. While it didn't save > Grace, it did bring her back into her body, and for brief glorious > moments, back to me. It was such a joy to see the Grace I know and > love > shining out of her eyes again. > > Anyway, here's my question: Can anyone tell me how difficult it is > to > put an animal to sleep in an emaciated condition? Of course, I don't > > want to make things harder on her, I want to ease her suffering. > What > if they can't find a vein, because they're so small? I just want to > know what to expect. I'm thinking of calling a house call vet to see > if > he can come today, but I don't want this to be harder on Grace. I'm > still struggling with the thought that my underlying motives might be > to > make things easier on me. I just want to do what's right for Grace. > My > judgement is clouded, my mind and heart are clouded as well. I don't > > even have the energy to read this post over to see if it makes sense. > Thanks for always caring, > Nina > > >
