Hideyo,
You know my opinion on "what ifs". Whatever we do that we think was
detrimental, can be turned around on us. You gave Garfunkle something
that you suspect "did something bad to him", (I doubt it), but what if
you hadn't tried whatever it was? Then right now you'd be thinking,
"Oh, if only I'd given him that homeopathic I wanted to try, maybe he'd
still be with me". You can't win that game, and I know you know that.
It's all part of the pain of letting go and knowing that we are not in
control the way we wish we were.
As far as you not being strong... You are one of the strongest people I
know. There is no greater champion for those who can't speak, or act
for themselves. What you do, and you do so much, takes guts and
courage. It's only common sense to realize that the more animals we
take in, (esp when those animals have had a rough start and are at a
disadvantage to begin with), the more probability there is for loss.
Yet you continue to help all those that cross your path. You fight like
a tiger protecting their young, don't tell me you aren't strong. You
are very strong, strong of heart and strong of spirit. There is NOTHING
weak about mourning the loss of our babies physical presence, nothing
weak about not wanting to let go. The only thing "messed up" is the
seeming injustice of life. Life, unfortunately is a death sentence.
Every creature born is terminal, I know that you know, it's how we share
our time together, whether long, or short, that matters. Many blessings
to you Hideyo, you're my kind of human.
Nina
Hideyo Yamamoto wrote:
Thanks, Nina.. I pretend to be strong.. but you know how messed up I
am.. I am crying my tears out, Nina. I think that I gave something
(homeopathic treatment) to him that did something bad to him.. because
he went down right after that.. this is one of my "what if..." thing..
and I so regret it, Nina. But - I know that Garfunkle had a good life
--I just so wish to have more of it! I will talk to Jasmine tomorrow to
see if I can talk to Garfunkle in his new life.
Thank you for thinking of me and my babies.
Hideyo
