Michelle,
The best I can tell you is this: Sometimes, dreams are just dreams. More likely than not most of the bad dreams you are having are prob. a manifestation of your own guilt (deserved or no, it doesn't matter, & grief). You might be getting visitations of your lost ones, only to have your own guilt & grief get in the way of the real message and warp the dream.
Dreams CAN be controled. Visitations can not. That's the best way to determine the difference. If it is really upseting you, practice telling yourself, just before bedtime that you are going to switch places with the characters in your dream...or change another character's appearance, or the landscape of the dream itself...with practice, you will be able to manipulate the players & settings in your dreams. It takes time, but after you are finding that you can do this on a regular basis, attempt
to do it when you are dreaming about your lost critters.
If you are feeling guilty: 1) take a realistic look at the situation- ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT, ENDS. You can't stop that. The bodies die. If you are guilty because you couldn't make them live forever, you need to get a hold of yourself and be realistic. Animals know they die. They aren't going to hold you responsible for that. 2) If you still can not shake the guilt, or believe there is something to be guilty about (realistically or no) when you dream of your animals...APOLOGIZE to them. EXPLAIN why you chose the course of action that you did. Tell them you love them. They love you. Even if they weren't ready to go (and sometimes, if you've allowed others to persued you to make the final decision at a time when you weren't comfortable with it...you really feel the result of this) it will help them to understand and accept the fact that
their physcial life with you has ended and it is ok for them to go on.
Like people, if an animal was not ready to go (whether or not its body was ready) its soul can be somewhat restless, bewildered. Great guilt or grief by loved ones can farther confuse it and "hold it bound to its former physcial life". You need to accept the death of the body, and be willing to let the soul continue without you. It is someplace you cannot follow at the moment. But don't feel frightened for it, that would be felt by the one who has passed. Remember, the soul existed before it came into your care, and will exist after. (If you believe in a Creator, believe & trust that the one who made us, loves us more than we can possibly love each other, and will take care of your loved ones, when you cannot).
The time that you experience together, the shared love, that
will go with the one who has passed, just as its love will stay with you. That hole you feel in your heart...the piece that filled that hole is going with the soul that you loved, to keep them from missing you so terribly ....to keep you with them when you cannot physcially be there....just as a piece of that soul will always stay with you.
It is ok to grieve, but try to remain open to all the wonders that will come. It is the best way to truly stay connected with those who have passed before us.
Be Blessed and at Peace.
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
I have been following this thread and wanted to say something, but I can not figure out what it is that I want to say. I have longed for a sign from mine also, and fear that the lack of a sign means either that there is nothing after death or that they are mad at me for what I did or did not do in their last days. When I have seen them in dreams, I do not know what that means either. All of it is painful. If the good dreams about them are a sign of something, are the bad dreams about them a sign also? Because I have a lot of those too.I relate to the feeling of thinking Maizee jumped on the couch. We used to take our dogs in the car a lot to go to conservation land for walks, and it is only recently, almost 8 months after our last dog died, that I have stopped thinking they are in the back seat. There are certain words that Gray and I used to have to say in code because the dogs understood them and would get all excited (e.g. walk, hungry, food, grandma -- they loved my mom and knew her by "grandma"). Sometimes we still find ourselves avoiding those words, and when we realize we don't need to anymore it really hurts. I feel like I see Simon every time I see a picture of a round-faced orange cat. It has gotten to the point in our house where most weeks have a death anniversary in them. This Saturday is Buddy's. It is about all we can do sometimes just to go on.MichelleIn a message dated 1/17/2006 5:58:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:Wendy I feel the same as you do.I am still waiting for a sign that she forgives me and knows that I love her so much.It is very hard for me still and it has been 2 months since she left me and I still have really bad days where I cry my heart out.I keep asking her if she sent Rafferty to me,he is such a sweetie,he helps me on my low days.I know we will heal to a point where we can think of them and not cry.I have had a few weird experiences since she passed,my boyfriend and I both have. I was eating popcorn and watching ER one night and it felt like she jumped on the couch next to me.I just smiled and said hi Maizee.I wasn't even thinking about her at that moment.Maybe if we don't look too hard for a sign,they will let us know then.Sherry
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