Hilarious!!!! --- Gary Murphy <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Oh my, I have a pet that talks to me all the time, > Max, my African Grey parrot. Let's see, if I try to > sleep in on the weekend she starts the day by > hollering up to me from downstairs > "HELLLL-LLLOWW-OHH" over and over. I book on down > to the kitchen, and start getting the kittys fed > while Max hollers "want some apple" over and over. > She recently started requesting that it be green > apple! I finish the cats, start slicing the apple, > tell Max it's almost ready, and she says (in her > best snooty diva voice) "Want some grape". I add > grapes to the bowl, run it in to her, and she greets > me with "Want some banana". I put the bowl in her > cage, run back to the kitchen, get some banana, run > back in and she flings the banana to the floor to > join the uneaten apples and grapes lying there. > (Meanwhile, the cats are quietly and gratefully > gulping down their wet food). Max now asks "Where's > Gary?" for the first of about 100 times a day. Gary > is my husband. Max hates Gary. If Gary speaks to > me while I'm holding Max she mumbles "ass****" under > her breath. If he speaks nicely directly to her she > says it outloud. Poor guy, he's paid a large > portion of her vet bills. When they finish eating > the kittens begin coming into the front room with > Max and I. As each one enters she says "Who's > that?" and meows when I answer. Sometimes, just for > kicks, she says "Come heeeeaaaarrrr" in her sweetest > little girl voice and lowers her head like she just > wants a head scritch. If they get too close the > beak flashes out and she trys to nail them. When > they stopped falling for this, she began ripping > pieces of newspaper from the bottom of her cage and > dropping them, fluttering, to the floor to tempt the > poor little kitties back into striking range. Smart > bird. If I lock her back up so I can relax my > vigilance a bit and maybe read the paper, Max is not > pleased and yells "NIGHT-NIGHT". If I fail to let > her back out, she starts cussing me out with > creative combinations of real swearwords she learned > from her previous owner. So in answer to your > question, I would take the money. Lord help me if > the cats could talk too!!! > > Beth > > PS. I really do adore Max, I am remodeling a spare > bedroom that will be a birdsafe room where she can > play and cuddle with me free of the kitty worry. I > try to talk a lot of people out of getting a large > parrot as a pet, they are louder, more demanding, > and more destructive than most sane people can > tolerate. At the same time, I am profoundly > grateful for her trust and devotion to me, she has > pulled me through some very dark times. I hope to > spend the rest of my life with her. The poor dear > tries really hard to fit in, she should be living a > life of freedom, flying in a rainforest, and instead > has to live by our rules in confinement. If it > makes her feel like cussing a bit, I understand... > > > > > Hi all. Hope everyone's "babies" are doing great! I > was in Philly visiting my Dad in Hospital..He might > come home on Weds!!:) There was a lady doing surveys > and the one question was kinda interesting. It was > would you rather have $100,000 or your cat ( or pet) > have the ability to talk to you in English ( your > language) for one week. Your cat could have a > conversation with you. It made me smile because I'll > always say to Crackers..Oh Daddy what cha thinking > about. Tell mommy what you are doing. What would you > guys do? > Kayte __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com
