Belinda,
Thank you so much for your suggestions. You're right, I don't know
what's going on with him exactly. Who knows, it could be Pancreatitis.
I'm in that terrible position of wondering, 'if only'. I was stewing in
that feeling all day yesterday. It's making me wonder if my resistance
to all the suggested testing was misguided. I'm at that terrible point
were I know we're just about out of time, where there's still life, and
therefore still hope, but hope is dwindling rapidly. As I told you, I
had the housecall vet on the phone this morning. He even had a
cancellation and could have come this afternoon. I hung up without
making an appointment. Something is holding me back from making that
final decision. I tend to think, when I feel this way, that perhaps
there's a miracle just waiting, if only I could figure out what to do to
nudge it along. Before I began this post, I was thinking maybe I could
call the housecall vet back and have him come draw blood for more
tests. Unfortunately, Spencer's so emaciated at this point, I doubt his
veins would support a blood draw. I have a call into my AC... I'm
wondering if perhaps my hesitation to relieve Spencer of his practically
useless body has more to do with allowing death to take it's natural
course. Maybe the light in his eyes has more to do with him being glad
for the opportunity to pass on his own then what I was hopefully
interpreting yesterday as an indication of possible recovery. I know
everyone on the list knows, (and of course Hideyo has just gone through
it with her little Tsubomi), just how hard it is to watch and wait and
comfort and cry through that process. I've always believed that
euthanasia is a gift of love, that if it is done for the animal and not
for our own convenience, or even to ease our own suffering, then it is
the right thing to do. In Spencer's case, I'm not getting any of the
signals that normally tell me this is what he wants... So, I continue
to wait and watch and support and try to be brave through my tears.
Nina
Belinda wrote:
Steriods will help any kind of inflammation not just inflammation from
cancer. They also help many other conditions.
