I can't be like this at work.
no, no, no.
When I got the digest, I said, yay! a break from the toil, but then when I glanced at the subjects and saw your wish to add Spence to the CLS at the bottom, I was devastated. I scrolled slowly down reading through the messages and as each one ended, I hoped, hoped, that the next one would not be the one, keeping him alive for a few moments more in my reality. Like reading a book over and over, but hoping that somehow this time, the end will be different than the last time.
But it wasn't. Nina, your beautiful description of Spencer and his life and spirit made him a part of our days. I grieve for him and for you and can only make myself feel better by imagining him and my Sushi, Hepburn, and Azrael meeting now.
I am so sorry, but thank you so much for sharing such an amazing force with us, I feel completely touched to have "known" him.
Leslie
From: Nina <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Please add Spencer to the CLS
To: Felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed
Hi Belinda and All,
I'm so sad and numb this morning. So completely worn out, I know you
all understand how I'm feeling. Spencer had been so weak yesterday, but
still so attentive and loving, what an incredible spirit this boy has.
The vet was late, (I'm so glad he was), and I had been laying next to
Spencer on our bed, keeping him company while we waited. He lifted his
head and tried to move, but he just couldn't get his once magnificent
body to work. I decided to bring him out front. He used to love going
out with his dogs every morning to get the paper and I thought he might
enjoy going out one more time. I was right. Unbelievably, he rallied
and was actually able to stumble to his favorite spot under my Jeep
parked in the driveway. He even drank from the feral's water bowl.
I couldn't stand seeing him on the uncomfortable cement any longer and
put him on his bed and we sat and quietly watched the neighborhood
comings and goings from the front steps.
I had just brought him back inside when I saw my vet approaching up the
front walk. Heaven help me, but I wanted to scream, NO! NOT YET! Of
course, it was time to finally say goodbye.
Do you still do tributes with their pictures? I'm going to send you his
picture off-list to include in case you do. Bless it, this was a hard
one, (but then I guess there just aren't any easy ones, are there?).
I want to express my gratitude once again to this incredible list of
caring people. I went through such contortions dealing with Spencer's
illness and decline. I don't know how I would have coped without your
support and prayers.
Much love as always,
Nina
------------------------------
Message: 22
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:37:55 -0500
From: "Rosenfeldt, Diane" < [EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: RE: Please add Spencer to the CLS
To: <felvtalk@felineleukemia.org>
Message-ID:
< [EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Nina, I know how excruciating this has been for you, but please rest
easy that you did what you knew to be best for Spencer. My heartfelt
sympathies. May your extraordinary boy have the gentlest of Bridge
journeys.
Diane R.
-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] On Behalf Of Nina
Sent: Thursday, October 12, 2006 11:20 AM
To: Felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Subject: Please add Spencer to the CLS
This electronic mail transmission and any attachments are confidential and may be privileged.
They should be read or retained only by the intended recipient. If you have received this
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------------------------------
Message: 23
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:26:12 -0500
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: Please add Spencer to the CLS
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Oh, Nina! I wish I had the words to express my thoughts more
poetically than, "I know exactly how you feel!" But it's just as
simple as that, I guess...You were there for me when my special guy,
Fuss-fuss passed away...and Spence sounds like he was to you what Fuss
was to me. You're right, they're all hard...but there are a few that
are particularly hard. It's helped me to keep in mind that journeys
work both ways...not everyone is placed in our own lives for our own
benefit...we, too, get placed in others' lives for the other person's
or animal's benefit. For some of my cats, I feel as though I'm simply
on the periphery of their journey...a blip on their radar, so-to-
speak! Which is fine by me as I understand we're all busy trying to
figure out our own destinies...and if I can make theirs that much more
enjoyable (or entertaining as the case often is), so be it! :) But
then there are those cats whose journey seems to be intertwined with
mine for a brief period of tim
e, and I am honored that they are here to teach me...likewise, it
hurts the most when it's time for them to leave as I feel we are a
part of each other. :( Now, I'm not saying that one relationship is
better or more important than the other as we're all brought together
for one reason or another...but some of these guys seem to "talk" to
you on a different level and you're never really the same again!
Please know that you are in my thoughts and let me know if there's
anything I can do!!
Jen
****************************************************
"But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be
unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world;
You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed..." --Antoine
de Saint-Exup�ry
"If you talk to the animals they will talk with you and you will know
each other. If you do not talk to them you will not know them, and
what you do not know you will fear. What one fears one destroys." --
Chief Dan George
"The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long..." --Blade
Runner
----- Original Message -----
From: Nina <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Date: Thursday, October 12, 2006 11:29 am
Subject: Please add Spencer to the CLS
To: Felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
> Hi Belinda and All,
> I'm so sad and numb this morning. So completely worn out, I know
> you
> all understand how I'm feeling. Spencer had been so weak
> yesterday, but
> still so attentive and loving, what an incredible spirit this boy
> has.
> The vet was late, (I'm so glad he was), and I had been laying next
> to
> Spencer on our bed, keeping him company while we waited. He
> lifted his
> head and tried to move, but he just couldn't get his once
> magnificent
> body to work. I decided to bring him out front. He used to love
> going
> out with his dogs every morning to get the paper and I thought he
> might
> enjoy going out one more time. I was right. Unbelievably, he
> rallied
> and was actually able to stumble to his favorite spot under my
> Jeep
> parked in the driveway. He even drank from the feral's water
> bowl.
> I couldn't stand seeing him on the uncomfortable cement any longer
> and
> put him on his bed and we sat and quietly watched the neighborhood
> comings and goings from the front steps.
>
> I had just brought him back inside when I saw my vet approaching
> up the
> front walk. Heaven help me, but I wanted to scream, NO! NOT YET!
> Of
> course, it was time to finally say goodbye.
>
> Do you still do tributes with their pictures? I'm going to send
> you his
> picture off-list to include in case you do. Bless it, this was a
> hard
> one, (but then I guess there just aren't any easy ones, are there?).
>
> I want to express my gratitude once again to this incredible list
> of
> caring people. I went through such contortions dealing with
> Spencer's
> illness and decline. I don't know how I would have coped without
> your
> support and prayers.
> Much love as always,
> Nina
>
>
------------------------------
Message: 24
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 2006 13:33:43 -0400
From: "Leslie Lawther" < [EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: Please add Spencer to the CLS
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Message-ID:
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
*Nina, I know I'm not alone in saying that we all felt like we knew
Spencer..... I'm truly sorry for your loss... *
**hugs**
*Leslie =^..^=*
On 10/12/06, Nina <[EMAIL PROTECTED] > wrote:
>
> Hi Belinda and All,
> I'm so sad and numb this morning. So completely worn out, I know you
> all understand how I'm feeling. Spencer had been so weak yesterday, but
> still so attentive and loving, what an incredible spirit this boy has.
> The vet was late, (I'm so glad he was), and I had been laying next to
> Spencer on our bed, keeping him company while we waited. He lifted his
> head and tried to move, but he just couldn't get his once magnificent
> body to work. I decided to bring him out front. He used to love going
> out with his dogs every morning to get the paper and I thought he might
> enjoy going out one more time. I was right. Unbelievably, he rallied
> and was actually able to stumble to his favorite spot under my Jeep
> parked in the driveway. He even drank from the feral's water bowl.
> I couldn't stand seeing him on the uncomfortable cement any longer and
> put him on his bed and we sat and quietly watched the neighborhood
> comings and goings from the front steps.
>
> I had just brought him back inside when I saw my vet approaching up the
> front walk. Heaven help me, but I wanted to scream, NO! NOT YET! Of
> course, it was time to finally say goodbye.
>
> Do you still do tributes with their pictures? I'm going to send you his
> picture off-list to include in case you do. Bless it, this was a hard
> one, (but then I guess there just aren't any easy ones, are there?).
>
> I want to express my gratitude once again to this incredible list of
> caring people. I went through such contortions dealing with Spencer's
> illness and decline. I don't know how I would have coped without your
> support and prayers.
> Much love as always,
> Nina
>
>
>
--
Leslie =^..^=
To leave the world a better place - whether by a healthy child, a garden
patch, or an improved social condition - that is to have succeeded. That
only one life breathed easier because you lived - that is success.
---Ralph Waldo Emerson
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