Marissa,
Get the numbers out of your head. They won't do you any good at this
point except to possibly make you feel disheartened. We all have a
tendency to mourn our babies before they are gone, maybe it's sometimes
necessary to prepare ourselves, but the most important thing I've found
is to stay in the moment, to enjoy their physical presence. Let's face
it, when we love this strongly, we are rarely prepared to let them go.
So do your best to remind yourself that he's still here! It has helped
me to let go of the strangle hold that expectations can cause and to
just BE. To relax just a little bit and live and love in the present.
Where there is life there is hope.
I can also relate to how hard it is to let them be away from our
physical embrace, if that is what they choose. You might want to
transfer your dismay of him being under the bed to concentrating on
connecting with Slink mentally when this happens. Memorize what it's
like to commune with him without actually touching him. Send him
conscious waves of love and know he is not isolated, he's wrapped up
warm and snug in that love. Talk to him and listen for the answers that
pop into your head. I don't know what your beliefs are about continuing
life after this one, but I believe in it strongly. Heaven forbid he
doesn't make it through this, reaching out to him without touch now may
help you to connect with him when his time finally comes, (whenever that
might be).
There is a spot in my garage that Bruce and I have come to call the
"portal". We've had several cats go to this particular corner when they
are in crisis. Now it may just be that they prefer it because it's a
cool spot away from the commotion of our hectic household, but my first
reaction is always NO! Come away from there! When I regain my
composure, acceptance of whatever 'will be' brings me a sense of calm
and it pleases me to think that all my furry loved ones that have
transitioned may be giving my sick baby encouragement and perhaps even a
preview of the wonderful world to come.
Hang in there Marissa, none of us knows what is to be,
Nina
Marissa Johnson wrote:
Hey Wendy. No problem...it is good information. Generally I believe
in holistic medicine and have even thought of taking Slinky to a
holistic vet (if I can afford it). I called someone yesterday to see
if she could come in and do some T Touch and accupressure with him.
It's just hard when you feel like everything you read says something
different (I remember going through that when I was trying to figure
out what to feed him). But at this point I feel like we're doing
everything we can.
Not so good news on the Slinky front. We just got back from he
vet...took him in to give him his first shot of IR. They did another
CBC to get a baseline so we can tell if the IR is helping...and his
HCT is down to 7!!! It was 9 when we were there on Wed. :( But we
gave him the IR and I guess all we can do now is see if it works. He
seemed to perk up a bit when we got home, but nonw he's pretty much
sacked out on the bed. I'm really praying for a miracle...but I know
I have to love him enough to let go as well if that's what he needs. :'(
It's INCREDIBLY hard to let him sit under the bed alone, but I want
him to be in control of what happens with and to him, not me. He is
back on the bed now...sleeping. I'm praying the IR works as I think
it's the last thing we have left to try. The vet was shocked he
hasn't lost weight and isn't having trouble breathing...so he seems to
still be fighting. Thanks for all the GLOW!
Hugs
MJ & Slinky ^-^
