Marissa, It just leaves such a big hole in your heart, I know. They do let you know. It is so hard to let them go, but to let him pass the way he did was a gift of kindess and caring. I am so glad he came to let you know. Love and hugs - I am crying with you.
elizabeth On 3/28/07, Marissa Johnson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hi all. I guess I need to complete the updates on Slinky, huh? Yes, he went to the bridge last night. I was having second thoughts all day yesterday...he, of course, perked up a bit, sat in the window sill again (hadn't done that in ages), and was still drinking, eating, and breathing fine. I even started to wonder if his nose looked pinker. But I decided to go to the vet appointment and ask her what she thought - and that all important question, "what would you do if he were your kitty?" Right before we left I think I finally understood that it really was time. It occurred to me that on Sunday he was very cuddly with me and initiating some cuddle time on his own. But yesterday he didn't want anything to do with me. And when we left the vet on Monday, someone said he'd tell me when it was time, and I remember thinking, "I think he already has told me" but I didn't want to believe it. I think his spirit left on Sunday...I think all that cuddling was him saying goodbye and beginning to get ready for the journey. So we went to the vet and I asked her if she thought his nose looked pinker. She looked at his gums, etc. and assured me that they were not. I was tempted to have her do another CBC, but that seemed like just adding to the torture he'd already been through. Without my even asking, the vet said, "If this were my cat, this is what I would be doing. Not only is he not getting any better, but he's actually getting steadily worse...and he's just going to suffer if we wait much longer." She of course pointed out that I had the option of waiting, but that seemed like it would just drag out the inevitable. He was so weak the last couple days that he couldn't even get back on the bed once he'd gotten down. The vet explained everything in detail and even shaved some of his fur for me since I'd forgotten I wanted a sample (good cuz what she got was way better than anything I could've gotten with a scissors). Then she gave him the tranquilizer (I think she did it quickly so I wouldn't have time to change my mind...knowing that was best for me and for Slinky). She said it would take a few minutes for it to work, so they left and I just held him and cried and told him how much I loved him. Thanked him for letting me share in his life and told him I was giving him the only gift I could at this point. The room we were in had a beautiful painting of the bridge, so I showed it to him and told him that was where he was going. They had put a sheep skin-like pad on the table and when they came back I laid him on that and put his head on his favorite pillow (he loved to knead on this "sqush" pillow I have). She thought they might have to put a catheter in his front leg to get the needle in since his veins were so small, but she was able to do it in his back leg. Once it was in, I just held him and cried and cried some more. But I know he was in peace. He visited me this morning - as I was waking up I could hear the birds outside my window and I distinctly heard a meow (I remember thinking that I didn't know of a bird that meowed). When it happened I got chills. And when I woke up fully I realized that he was letting me know that he's happy and he loves me. I'm actually doing much better than I expected to be. After the vet appointment my friend took me out to dinner and then to ben and jerry's (self-medicating is always good!), which distracted me and that helped a lot. Of course when I got home I completely lost it, but I knew that would happen. I called "dad" and he was wondeful about telling me I did all the right things, that he loves me, and not to worry about paying all those bills back 'till some time in the future. Today I relaxed in the morning and then went and got my hair cut (my stylist is "dad's" partner and the owner of the salon...so he has lots of experience with losing kitties) and did some shopping. I got a stuffed kitty that looks just like Slinky, so he'll be my new sleeping buddy. I thought I would lose it when I came home tonight, but I just choked up for a bit and really was okay. I know all the prayers and thoughts everyone is sending me are helping a ton!!! I think half the population of the US is praying for me and checking on me! You guys have been absolutely amazing and having people to talk to who've been there and understand how this is has been an unbelievable help! Thank you all so much for all your support!!! I know this is kinda long, but since you've all been reading so much about Slink, I thought you might want to know some of the details of his crossing. Thanks again for everything...I know I couldn't get through this without you!! Love to you and all your furkids! MJ ------------------------------ Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Yahoo! Mail Beta.
