Oh Caroline, I am so, so sorry. Brumley was such a special, brave little
fellow, such a trooper. And you were surely his guardian angel. You
really did him proud. No one could have done more for Brumley than you
did---no one. It's really amazing and wonderful that he was so content
and loving of life right up till almost the last moment. He obviously
knew how loved he was. What an inspiration his example is. And yours,
too, Caroline--thanks for everything you did for your little sweetie
foster kitten. Wish there were more in the world like you. much love and
big hugs, Kerry

[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Caroline
Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2008 12:06 PM
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org
Subject: Brumley is gone

        Hello all.  Sadly I have to report that my sweet foster kitten
Brumley is gone.  I know that so many of you championed his cause and
helped me with his very intensive care that started the minute I took
him home from the "condo" at the store on Dec. 22.  I so wanted him to
be a success story and in a way, he was.  His story was about not giving
up, even in the face of impossible odds and other vets writing him off
as having FIP and then not wanting to continue forward with alleviating
the pain his affected eye was causing him.  But my mom and I kept going
and by the time we got to our 5th vet, we found someone who was willing
to keep working on Brumley and in the meantime, alleviate the pain his
eye was causing him- which he did and Brumley's quality of life
increased and I thought he might make it.  He didn't stop eating and
drinking until the 18th of Jan. and that is also when he became ataxic.
But he never stopped interacting with his environment and doing the
small little things that he wanted to do- like continue to walk around,
even tho he fell sometimes- that never stopped him, hang out with the
dog whom- he loved, sniff things, curl up on me and purr, bird watch,
family wathc, and try to eat soil from the plant, etc.  He never stopped
purring either until the very end.  
        I was worried that with Brumley I wouldn't know when it was
time.  And his vet even said to me about 5 different times that he would
"drag his feet" on this one because he loved Brumley's grey and white
coloring and the way Brum was such a trooper and would just not give up
at all!  So I worried that if the vet drags his feet, and I drag my
feet, will we keep a cat going who is suffering?  But that didn't
happen.  I don't believe Brum suffered much, if at all.  He was perky
last night and purring away in a cat box he found the other night- after
somehow making it all the way up the steps to the housecats room and
climbing in it!  He had started to fight me a lot with syringe feeding
(which I have done since Jan. 19th) and the subqu fluids- also since the
19th.  So I was concerned that the fighting- which he had never done
before- was either a good or bad sign.  But he was fine last night- he
got his two prednisones and it was my typical evening of treating,
medicating, feeding, and babying The Brum.  But this morning, he was not
standing up in his crate and looking around and meowing- which had
become his usual morning routine.  He was laying flat and my mom thought
he had already passed.  His little front paws were gripping the crate
and I had to pry them off- he was obviously in respiratory distress- as
this is my 3 time since Monkee died in my arms in July to see this, so I
know the signs b/c I live in fear of them.  He was craning his neck like
he was trying to breathe and his breathing was rapid.  So I threw on
clothes and we rushed him out to the emergency clinic- the same one that
also took my Possum on the 22 of Jan.  Brumley's regular vet wasn't in
until 9 today and he had surgeries scheduled, so we couldn't go there.
Which I think is good b/c when I saw his vet, I would have started
balling instead of being composed and I just think it would have been a
mess for both me and him b/c he really liked this cat.  
        The emergency vet said it was grave.  Clinically, he was
dehydrated (despite my 2x day fluid treatments), his liver was failing,
she suspected kidneys were next, she found granulomas throughout his
body (other places besides the eye), his temp was down again to 94, and
she strongly suspected brain damage.  She said he was definitely dying
and whether it was dry FIP, Toxo (which she doubted), or she proposed a
very severe fungal infection-- either way, none of it was reversible and
everything that could be done for the cat had been done.  It was
definitely time.  Which I already knew when I decided to take him out
there.  I was with him.  Brumley was so bad off that the ER vet couldn't
get a vein, couldn't get the juglar and had already decided to euthanize
with a shot to the heart.  He was even less alert than Possum was when
we did this with him, so it was definitely the right time- he just
crashed so fast and so hard in light of how he was last night.  Since
the shot went to the heart, Brumley left this world very quickly.  The
vet gave me a hug and told me I did a good job.  
        Honestly, I am exhausted.  I have been doing very intensive care
on Brumley and it has taken up all of my mornings and my entire evening.
I would get up, take care of Brum, go to work, come home, take care of
Brum, go to bed, and it would start again the next day.  So mentally and
physically, I am just worn out.  But I know that- especially being a
foster cat- Brumley got more care and better care than he ever would
have if I had not intervened.  In his short, sad little life, he never
got frustrated, he never got mad and I don't really think he knew he was
sick, but he definitely knew love and had things in this world that- for
a very brief time- made him happy and made his existence better.  
        I have offered his body to his vet who's been treating him since
Jan. b/c he had a special interest in Brum and I wanted to make the
offer in case he wants to do a necropsy or just take a look at the eye.
So maybe we will get some answers, maybe not.  If he doesn't want to do
a necropsy, then I will leave it at that.   
        Thank you to all who cared and helped me with Brumley's
extremely difficult case.  Oddly enough, I had a dream about Monkee last
night and I haven't dreamed about him in a while.  Yes, I think about
him every single day, but he hasn't visited me in a dream as clear as he
did last night in a long time.  As soon as my mom woke me up to tell me
Brumley was not doing well, I knew it was time because I think Monkee
came to me to tell me it was time and he was coming to take Brumley
        Caroline K.       

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