Anna, I am so sorry you lost your beautiful Sylvia. She sounds like she was very special, and special to you.
You absolutely did the right thing in helping her along. As much as you want them to stay, watching them suffer is horrible for both of you. When my dear Luc reached the end (he was not FeLV+, but had thyroid and kidney issues) he was not eating and I was trying to bring him back by "assist feeding" him - euphemism aside, at this point it was force-feeding. He started making a horrible grinding sound with his teeth, and I stopped feeding because I didn't want him to hurt himself. I took him to the vet, and she said she had heard cats do that when they were in pain, and after that I couldn't let him go fast enough. It was one thing for him to be annoyed at me trying to feed him, but actual pain was a totally different matter. (The vet also said she felt a mass, which just sealed the deal.) A big chunk of my memories were in that little guy (almost 17 years worth) so I really felt like part of me had gone away. I know you will feel sad for a long time, but it will ease and you'll be able to remember Sylvia with smiles instead of tears, -- sometimes, at least. I don't want to go all mystical on you, but one thing you may want to do is just talk to Sylvia, and tell her she is welcome to come and visit you any time. I have known some people, myself included, who have felt the presence of a departed kitty. For me, it was the feeling of a cat walking on my bed when there was no living cat there. And, maybe after a while, you can adopt another kitty in Sylvia's honor. Diane R. From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Anna Waltman Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 5:05 PM To: [email protected] Subject: [Felvtalk] please add Sylvia to the CLS Dear all, I lost my sweet Sylvia cat this afternoon. Despite our best efforts with daily subcutaneous fluids, appetite stimulants, Interferon, probiotics, vitamins, steroids, and multiple antibiotics, she was still fading fast and appeared to be in a significant amount of pain yesterday. So, with a heavy heart, I took her to the vet one last time this afternoon for a consult. The vet looked over her chart thoroughly, took a close look at her gums and listened to her breath, and said that at this point we'd done all we could do; the anemia was causing her to crash. We agreed, sadly, that it was time to let her go. This was definitely the hardest choice I've ever made; I'm only 25 and Sylvia was my first cat as an adult. We bonded immediately and it has been awful watching her decline over the last month. I'd never been present when an animal has been euthanized before, and I was extremely reluctant to see her go this way. I'd hoped she might pass quietly at home, but she just seemed so uncomfortable that letting her linger struck me as cruel and selfish. I think I made the right choice. She went peacefully, wrapped in a clean blanket in my arms, with no pain. While we waited for the vet, she sat in my lap and purred just like she did as a kitten at her first vet visit. It broke my heart to let her go, even though I know it was the kindest thing I could do. Sylvia was the best cat I've ever had: smart, sweet, devoted, impeccably well-mannered, pleasantly chatty, cuddly. Up until last month, she was fat, sassy, and apart from gingivitis, quite healthy, so I am confident she had a good life. I will miss her terribly. I already do. I'm glad I have my lively little clownish siamese mix, Beatrice (who, as far as I know, is FeLV negative and healthy as a horse) to keep me company. It'll just be the two of us for a little while, so we have time to mourn the loss of a truly great friend, old soul, and gentle spirit. I am so, so sad...but also thankful for four years with a wonderful cat. Some animals make you a better person. I think Sylvia has done that for me, and I will always remember her. Thanks to all of you who have given me advice and support over the last few years. I'm grateful to have had a group of more experienced cat owners to turn to with questions and concerns; you all have been a great source of comfort and information. Best of luck to you and yours in fighting this awful disease. Sadly, Anna (and Beatrice) -- Anna Elisabeth Waltman PhD Candidate // Contemporary American Poetics Department of English and American Literature University of Massachusetts, Amherst
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