Sally,
What can I say but WOW, and thank you for sharing. Beautiful words from a beautiful person, I can tell. I will always love and remeber Snowball, I just have such vivid memories of the last time I saw him, to erase those and the guilt I have, all the "what if's" is just to great right now.
Purrsia and Purrki and very lucky to have a loving mom like you, keep up the rescuing.
As for animal communication, I am a firm believer. I had a black Persian / Domestic mix for 24 years and when I put her down (due to old age), I would still talk and sit buy her little spot in the back yard and talk to her, that has been a few houses ago, but I still do talk to her to this day, we went through alot together.
Thanks again Sally
Cherie
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
Dear Cherie:
There is nothing that can prepare you for your first loss due to this horrid
virus, and don't beat yourself up with "what if'" you'd known sooner, or this
or that. I'd been rescuing cats for 17 years before I had any experience
dealing with FeLV...I rescued two unrelated kittens who later turned out to be
FeLV+ and in retrospect, knowing what I now know, the first kitten was probably
born carrying the virus and the source of infection for the second one, so I
unknowingly brought the second kitten to its death by rescuing her. Both had
initially seemed so healthy. It wasn't until the second kitten crashed at 8
mos. with nonregenerative anemia and was gone 16 days later, despite my best
efforts to try and find a way to save her, that I received my own tragic
introduction to the heartbreak of FeLV.
Your precious ! Snowball reminds me of little Purrsia in her snowy white fur
coat...a wisp of a kitty with a spirit that was so very brave. She was deaf,
though she didn't have the blue eyes that often coincide with that condition in
white cats. Perhaps because she could not hear, she purred like a Harley,
hence her name. In the brief time she shared my life, she found a place in the
very deepest recesses of my heart and it still makes me misty-eyed to think of
her. Two weeks after she passed, her playmate, Angel Eyes, a part Meezer with
heavenly blue eyes, also tested postive but remained healty and vigorous and
I thought she might be one of the lucky ones to live with the virus long term.
But the day after Xmas '03, she crashed, and 14 days later I had to say
goodbye to Angel, as well, barely 16 mos. old. Now they are both precious kitty
angels purring up above...perhaps their mission on this earth was to teach me
about this dreadful illness. Since ! losing them I have been inspired to keep
learning as much as I can and so be better prepared to help other FeLV+ kittys
who come into my life. I've since had two adults who tested positive revert to
negative status and just recently a kitten who had tested positive at 6 weeks
(and was going to be PTS if I had not rescued him) has retested NEGATIVE at 6
mos. He is like the antithesis of little Purrsia -- all black -- and another
purring machine, named Purrki in her memory. After two heartbreaks, I have a
miracle baby! Even out of the ashes, flowers can bloom.
Many kittens with FeLV do crash and lose their battle with the virus very
quickly. Snowball's symptoms with the inability of his blood to clot and
bleeding the way he did are not really typical of FeLV and I can't help but wonder if
that was due to something besides being FeLV+. Is there any chance he might
have ingested some rat poison (that is how it kills by inhibiting the ! clotting
factor in blood so the rats bleed to death internally)?? Tho' I suspect
there would also have been evidence of severe gastric distress in that case. I
would want to learn more information about bleeding disorders in cats to better
understand what happened to him.
Do focus on the good memories you have of Snowball. He was well loved by you
and your son and his life was not without meaning, even if it was brief.
Sometimes a life must be measured in terms of the loving energy it radiates and
gives to those around it, not by its length of time. Nothing can take away
your loving memories and you will always have photos of him to cherish. His
spirit has been released from its furry prison of suffering and is now free to
soar...he will be surrounded by loving spirit companions on the other side and in
good company with all the other kitty souls we've lost to FeLV.
I don't know how you feel about animal communication, but it! has always
helped me immensely to say goodbye to my furkids with the help of an AC. It IS
possible to link up with them even after they have passed, though some people
find that concept beyond their grasp.
One thing that might help your son is to have a little memorial service for
Snowball...a candlelight service with his photo, or even a mock burial with a
photo if you did not bring his body home from the vet or have him cremated.
When my daughter was about five and lost her first pet, a mouse, she got her
little red wheelbarrow and filled it with hay and we laid Ralph on the bed of
hay, wrapped in a little blanket of fleece, and she arranged flowers around him
and wheeled him out to the garden and chose a spot to dig the hole and we
buried him. Then she asked me to get my trumpet and play "Taps" for him, believe
it or not. She painted his name on a rock to put on his grave and chose a
flowering plant (carnation I think) f! or the spot. There is a really great
children's book that deals with the subject of death, "The Tenth Good Thing About
Barney." You might call your local library and see if they have it.
Snowball's spirit is a beautiful one, as evidenced by the way he has touched
you and your son. A part of him will always be with you.
Sincerely, Sally in San Jose
