Hmmm...I just read my reply and realized how, I don't know, matter-of-fact it sounded! When I write about Leo's death, I guess I have to do it from a place of little emotion or else I won't be able to write about it at all without causing a short-circuit in my keyboard due to the flood of tears (good tears, not bad)! :)
I just wanted to say that Leo's illness and subsequent crashing was extremely agonizing because we just didn't know if we should let him be or if we should euthanize. But his natural passing was just so different than all of the others...I can't explain it very well but it was almost "sacred" to me, if that makes any sense. As bizarre as it may sound, I feel as if witnessing his passing was his last gift to me (as heart-wrenching as it was to watch)...I really felt a part of something "higher" when it was over and my heart never felt so light. Admittedly, a lot of that probably had to do with the realization that his suffering was over as well as all of the indecision that went along with it...but there was something else there that I just couldn't express as easily. Sorry if this sounds a little wacky, I'm not a very religious person...but sharing his natural passing was on the level of something I've never experienced before...and as odd as it may sound, I'm thankful that he let me be a witness. Take care, Jen
