Dear Michelle
You are having such an awful time, my heart goes out to you and Simon
and your partner. But at least you know (and will always know) one thing
for sure: you are giving Simon the most precious thing of all, and at
the time he needs it most. No one could love and care for Simon more, or
show that love and care more more clearly through action, than you. When
the time comes he will not be on his own, and he will know that. 
Thinking of you and sending much love and many prayers your and Simon's
way, take care, Kerry

-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On
Behalf Of [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Monday, January 10, 2005 7:53 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Simon update


I really thought Simon would be gone by now. But all through the night
he was 
very purry and cuddly, though very weak. he got up and walked to use the

litter box twice, but was wobbly and would lay down again right outside
it each 
time and I would bring him back to bed.  He had had no food since he ate
a few 
bites in the morning yesterday. I had decided not to syringe him anymore

because it seemed to make him feel awful the day before, but I also
thought he would 
be gone by now.  I eventually gave him another shot of dexamethasone at
about 
6:30 am this morning, hoping it might make him eat.  I have given him a
lot 
of steroids, probably way too much, but I am looking at this as hospice
care 
and long-term effects do not seem to matter much.  The dex made him
stronger, as 
he can walk without wobbling at all now, and he is drinking on his own 
because it made him thirsty.  He also sniffed at food but would not eat.
So I 
syringed him 4 cc's of food (very little) to see if it might help him.
He held it 
down fine, but seems very upset.  I am not sure what to do about food--
just 
let him go without any? I thought if he actually has a few days left he
should 
get some in him for strength, but I don't know.  I am exhausted. I
stayed up 
the entire night petting and watching him.  When my partner got up this
morning 
I asked him to watch him and slept for 1.5 hours. I am not sure how
anyone 
could say that doing this is for my own sake, as in many ways I think it
would be 
easier to euthanize him. I just can't do it while he is still purring
and 
able to walk and not panting or crying.
Michelle

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